


Candle

by AngelynMoon



Series: Candle [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alec disguised himself so he wouldn't be found, Alec has a fake name- James Leander, Alec has a panic Attack, Alec is a liar and he knows it, Alec runs away, Alec stiil thinks of himself as Alec he is refured as James or Leander when it is not his POV, Alec uses the word fag in reference to himself while dissing his father, Alec's going to help him, Alternate Universe, BAMF Alec Lightwood, Bad Parent Maryse Lightwood, Bad Parent Robert Lightwood, But nothing happens between them but flirting and it makes Alec uncomfortable, Clary and Jace act like children, Everybody loves Alec, Gen, Good job Alec, Good job Magnus, I feel like I should tag Insecure Alec Lightwood, I feel like i need this one too: Alec has weird priorities, I felt that I should warn you just in case, I'm sure there will be more eventually, Insecure Alec Lightwood, Izy and Lydia leading a revolution against the Clave's bigotry mentioned in passing, Izzy does not know that ALec is her brother and Izzy likes to flirt so I guess I should tag Incest, M/M, Made up Shadowhunter Mythology, Magnus is called to Alec no matter what and Alec is too, Maryse Lightwood trying to be a better parent, Near Death-Alec's, Others to be added - Freeform, Out of Character due to different circumstances, Pet Sharing, Protective Alec Lightwood, Robert Lightwood being a bad parent, Sad Alec Lightwood, Sad Magnus Bane, Shadowhunter Culture, Simon and Alec are going to be friends, Somehow Maryse became supportive, The Universe Trying and Failing to get Magnus and Alec together, They all want him to be okay, Trigger Warnings: Alec attempted Suicide right before he ran away because his parents are bad people, Vampire Culture, Warlock Culture, We finally made it to Alec and Magnus becoming a couple, but she still doesn't know James is Alec, even Valentine and Sebastian, it only took nearly dying a couple times, it's more meant to get back at his father than belief, sorry - Freeform, weaponry is one of them.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2019-03-17 21:26:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 28,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13667601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelynMoon/pseuds/AngelynMoon
Summary: Summary: They light a candle every night hoping the son I couldn't be comes home.Alec runs away young Au.





	1. Arrival

Summary: They light a candle every night hoping the son I couldn't be comes home.

Alec runs away young Au.

\------

A young man walked through the city, no one looked at him and he was careful to never touch anyone, not even by accident. He'd been doing this for nearly ten years, though not in this city.

It had been ten years since he had been here in this city, ten years since he couldn't take the pressures of his parents, ten years since he had run from his family.

The young man sighed and looked at the building he had once called home, now he didn't call anywhere home.

He never had been able to give up being a Shadowhunter, as far as most knew he was an orphan that wandered from Institute to Institute and helped out where he was needed before moving on, never staying too long and always leaving before he wore out his welcome.

Alec sighed again as he approached the building and entered the building, frowning at the small display of candles by the door, that hadn't been there when he left.

He gazed at it for a long moment, his eyes finally being drawn to the small picture of a serious, young him.

"That's Alec." A young woman said, and Alec turned around to look at the speaker.

It took him a moment before he recognized his baby sister.

"What happened to him?" Alec asked.

Isabelle shrugged, "He just vanished one day, Mother thinks he went out to fight Demons and died."

"What do you think?" Alec asked.

"I like to believe that he's out there somewhere." Isabelle smiled sadly.

"I'm sorry." Alec said.

"So, you're the new guy." A blond man drawled.

"Jace." Isabelle hissed, "Behave."

Alec stared at the other man, he'd learned that his parents had taken in an orphan after his disappearance but he had never bothered to look farther into it; it felt like they had been replacing him, and he had heard how proud they were of the boy's skills, where they had never had a kind word for Alec.

"James Leander." Alec introduced himself, holding his hand out to his sister.

"Isabelle, and this is Jace." Isabelle smiled, taking the offered hand.

\---------

Jace rolled his eyes as Izzy filrted with the new guy, James Leander didn't seem interested and he seemed really uncomfortable but trying to tell Izzy that was like trying to get Warlock Bane to arrive on time, in other words next to impossible.

Jace studied the man, his red hair was fake and Jace noticed the way he itched at his eyes, which told him he probably wore contacts. The man was tall, taller than him and thin, Jace wondered if he'd see ribs if the man took his shirt off.

The man was hiding something, it was either he was hiding his real identity or he didn't want to be recognised, Jace wanted to know why, and he'd figure it out, with or without his Parabatai's help.

"Jace." Izzy said sharply, "Stop being so suspicious, my Parabatai."

James watched them with those brown eyes and seemed almost upset at that revealtion.

"Problem, Leander?" Jace snarled.

The man shook his head, "No." He said faintly.

Jace rolled his eyes, the man better find a backbone if he wanted to survive here at the New York Institute.

\----

Alec settled into his room, at least he hadn't seen his parents, apparently a young woman named Lydia Branwell was in charge of the Institute, and had been since Jace had brought a unRuned Shadowhunter and her mundie friend turned Vampire to the Institute.

Served his parents right, at least now the Downworlder got a chance at a fair investigation, Alec had only ever heard good things about the Branwell girl, except for the death of her fiance.

Alec shuddered, Isabelle had been flirting with him, he was sure of it and it freaked him out but he couldn't get her to stop without revealing one of two things, one of which was the reason he had run away.

Alec threw himself on his bed and threw his arm over his eyes, he was not going to tell Isabelle that they were brother and sister, that was just asking his parents and the Clave to show and they were going to have trouble enough with Valentine's Circle members, they didn't need the Clave trying to be helpful.

And he couldn't tell her the other thing, he didn't know how she would react, maybe if he hadn't run away she'd have hugged him tightly and reassured him that love was love and he deserved to be loved and love someone no matter their gender, but he had run and this woman that he had met wasn't the young girl he'd abandoned, he was alone, as he always had been.

Alec sighed and settled down to sleep, he'd have a long day fighting for some measure of respect from Jace tomorrow.

He wondered what was going on in that man's mind before deciding that it didn't matter in the long run, he wasn't going to be here long enough for it to matter.

Even if Jace was a very handsome man.

Alec fell asleep with a little smile on his face, maybe he'd dream about him, not like he could hope for anything else, but a man can dream, maybe later down the road he'd be able to slip away and go dancing with someone, let them take him home and have a good time.

Alec sighed softly in his sleep as he dreamed a soft dream, knowing that nothing within would ever happen with Jace, even a blind man could see that he'd chosen to love Valentine's daughter, there would be no other for him and Alec would only have dreams where he wouldn't be cast from his world for loving who he wanted.

And just inside the doors of the Institute Isabelle Lightwood used the lit candle from the alter to light another, changing the nearly burnt out candle for the new one.

"I miss you, Alec, I hope you're out there some place and that you're happy and safe." Izzy smiled, tearfully, "Jace is making friends as usual, the new guy arrived today, I think maybe you would have liked him, he's good, I can tell. Good night, big brother, where ever you are."

Izzy stood up and headed to her own bed, they had to convince Warlock Bane to redo the Wards tomorrow and that was going to be fun and James Leander might just learn a thing or two about the way they ran their Institute.

\-------  
\--


	2. Meeting Magnus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Meeting Magnus

Summary: Meeting Magnus

 

\-----

Alec woke up with a jolt and wondered for a moment what had woken him before he realized that someone was pounding at his door.

Alec sighed, of course they would wake him up, it's not like he had spent the last three days making his way here from Chicago, nope, not at all, and it wasn't like the Clave offered him a Portal or anything, nah, that would have been a nice gesture.

"Just a moment." Alec called.

"Hurry up, we can't be late to see Warlock Bane!" Isabelle shouted.

Warlock Bane, Alec thought with a sigh, Warlock Bane was the prettiest man he'd ever seen, if Alec had thought that he had any hope of happily ever after he might have wished that whoever his heart chose would be like Warlock Bane.

Oh, there was a lot of talk about his selfishness and pettiness but Alec had heard about some of the things Warlock Bane had done during the first war with Valentine, and he'd seen the respect in the eyes of Warlocks, Vampires, Seelies, and Werewolves when he was mentioned, it seemed the only people that didn't respect the crap out of the man were Shadowhunters.

Alec shook his head and got dressed quickly before almost running over Isabelle as he exited.

"Don't you look delicious." Isabelle smiled up at him.

Alec looked down at his tight black shirt and equally tight pants, "Uh, shouldn't we... yeah, let's..." Alec almost ran away from her.

\-----

Izzy grinned as she followed James, this was going to be fun, it was like no one had ever flirted with him, Izzy was going to enjoy getting that man to stutter and run from her.

\--------

"And why should I help you?" Warlock Bane asked, boredly, a drink in his hand.

Izzy gritted her teeth as she tried to calm down, she could feel Jace's anger and Clary looked ready to punch the half-demon in the face, in fact the only one that seemed remotely calm was James and he was just watching.

"Because you have to." Izzy forced out.

"I have to do nothing." Warlock Bane said as he vanished his glass, "You can leave now."

Jace stepped forwards only to have James stop him.

"Let go of me!" Jace shouted.

"Not until, I'm sure you're not going to attack Warlock Bane." James answered, holding Jace's arms tightly.

Warlock Bane looked shocked, whether by the fact that James had grabbed Jace or just noticing the man Izzy didn't know.

"Well, hello there, I didn't see you there." Warlock Bane smiled at James who flushed and let go of Jace.

"That was the point." James said.

"Oh? Why is that?" Warlock Bane stepped closer to the man his fingers pushing a lock of red hair to the side of his face and looking into brown eyes.

James shrugged, "If you don't want to help us then we need to find another Warlock that will, and they have to be powerful enough to redo the Wards."

"Well, you do know how to stroke a man's ego." Warlock Bane smiled, "Can you stroke anything else?"

\--------

Alec's cheeks burned, he wasn't ignorant of the way things happened but, well, no one had ever flirted with him so blatenly and By the Angel, Alec wanted more.

Alec mentally shook himself, "Nothing of yours, Warlock Bane."

"That's a shame, I feel like you'd enjoy whatever we did." Warlock Bane said.

Yes, By the Angel I would, Alec thought before he could stop, No, bad, Alec, you can't, not even if you were staying in the city.

"Very well, let's talk price then." Warlock Bane said as he returned to his seat.

Isabelle stared at James and wondered how she hadn't realized the man was gay, but thank the Angel that something happened to convice Warlock Bane to redo the Wards.

\-------

Magnus saw the Shadowhunters out and closed the door after the male red head, how he wished he could have asked for the man as payment, if the same people were still among the Clave Concil they'd probably agree and the poor boy would be hated afterwords and he'd be blamed for corrupting the Shadowhunter, he'd never be able to marry another Shadowhunter and he'd probably be lucky if they didn't send him to a remote outpost.

Magnus sighed, something about the man called him, Magnus' usual type of man was black hair and blue, blue eyes, but those brown eyes called him like a siren's song and while the red hair was obviously fake Magnus couldn't even guess what the real color was, he didn't even know the Shadowhuter's real name.

Magnus did know that the Shadowunter was hiding something and he wanted to know what and why and Lilith Magnus wanted to take that man apart and put him back together better than before.

Magnus shook his head, he didn't have time for puzzling Shadowhunters, no matter how lovely, he had Wards to prepare.

Magnus wandered back to his office, maybe he would seen the young man in two days when he arrive to set the Wards.


	3. Wards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: The Wards

Summary: The Wards 

 

\-----

Alec had been assigned to watch Warlock Bane as he set the Wards, Branwell had allowed Warlock to choose who watched him and Jace had told her that he'd actually stopped Jace from doing something regrettable, like hitting the Warlock.

"Almost done." Warlock Bane smiled at Alec.

Alec only nodded, paying more attention to the Shadowhunters that sneered at Warlock Bane, some of them expressed regret that Alec had draw what they perceived as the short straw with guarding the Warlock. They didn't have to know that he'd prefer guard duty over chasing Shax demons, too many years on the streets without the actual protection of living at an Institute made Alec glad for even the smallest amount of time within the safe walls of one.

It had taken him almost five years before he'd gathered the courage to walk into the Mexico Institute and he'd traded the information he had on a nest of mid-level demons for a safe place to sleep for the night since it had been Halloween and Alec hadn't found a place to sleep the was defendable.

He'd been gone in the morning, running, afraid that he'd be recognized as Alec Lightwood, later that week Alec had died his hair red and found a way to get brown contacts, he maintained both things and had finally picked out a name to go by, someone had finally asked him for one.

Alec tried to never stay in one place longer than a month but he had a feeling that Valentine was going to draw out his time in New York and Alec hoped that he'd be able to keep his identity hidden.

"There, that's it." Warlock Bane smiled at him.

"Good, may I escort you to Miss Branwell?" Alec asked motioning the direction.

Warlock Bane smiled and took Alec's arm, it took all Alec's will not to flinch and cringe form the touch but from the small frown that Warlock Bane gained he didn't manage very well.

"I'm sorry." Warlock Bane started to pull back.

"It's fine, just not used to people touching me." Alec offered a smile, "You're fine."

"If you say so." Warlock Bane seemed confused.

There was a pause as Alec and Warlock Bane walked through the halls.

"So, James, where are you from?" Warlock Bane asked.

"Oh... um..." Alec didn't know how to answer the question, he certainly couldn't say New York and he'd never been anywhere long enough to consider it home, "All over, I guess."

"You guess?" Warlock Bane seemed concerned.

"I travelled a lot, never stayed too long, honestly, if I end p staying here longer than a month it'll be the longest I've stayed anywhere since I was a kid." Alec admitted.

"Your parents were liasions of the Clave?" Warlock Bane asked.

"No, no," Alec looked away from the Warlock, "They were in the Circle." 

Alec had been surprised, disappointed and terrified to learn that his parents had followed Valentine and worse that they had never planned on telling their children that they'd been exiled to New York.

"Ahh." Warlock Bane said.

"And the reason you never stayed in anyplace?" Warlock Bane asked.

"They've been running from their problems for a long as I can remember, I learned about what they had done by eavesdropping on a couple other former Circle members when I was thirteen, some still believe in Valentine and I knew it was only a matter of time before the remnants of his followers tried to rise again, with or without Valentine." Alec found himself explaining, "I ran away from my parents and haven't looked back, I hope I never see them again."

"So, you went to one of your relatives?" Warlock Bane asked.

Alec frowned and shook his head, "What happened after doesn't matter, I had my Stele and my training, I was fine, am fine." 

\-----

Magnus watched James and felt a twinge of sorrow, it sounded as though he hadn't been welcomed after he'd fled from his parents, but even Shadowhunters would not let a thirteen year old fend for them self, even if he was an orphan.

"Are they looking for you?" Magnus found himself asking.

"Who?" James asked, he seemed genuinely confused.

"Your parents?" 

"Oh...nah, they were probably glad to be rid of me." James shrugged, "And I don't care if they are, I'd never be able to fit the mold they wanted me to, didn't then, don't now, and I'm glad because that means I'm a better man than they are."

Magnus found himself smiling, "Yes, James, you are. If only more Shadowhunters were like you."

James laughed, "If more Shadowhunters were like me?" he shook his head, a smile on his lips, "If more Shadowhunters were like me, Warlock Bane, there would be a higher mortality rate for us."

Magnus frowned, "What do you mean?"

"I've done some pretty stupid things, especially just before I ran away, I was scared and my parents did not react well, so I ran." James glanced at Magnus, "I guess I haven't stopped, and I don't plan to, I can help more people that way."

James smiled crookedly and Magnus wondered what he had done and was worried amount what it might have been.

"That sounds lonely." Magnus offered.

"Maybe." James said with a shrug, "But I'm used to it."

"Hello, Mr. Leander." Miss. Branwell said as they neared her, "I see Warlock Bane has finished."

"Yes," Magnus shifted his attention to her, "All that is left is payment."

"Of course, you are dismissed Mr. Leander." Miss Branwell said.

James nodded and turned to leave, walking down a different hall and disappearing, Magnus watching him go with concealed want.

"Warlock Bane?" Miss. Branwell said to gain his attention, "I'd prefer if you don't chase my people, it won't end well for them if the Clave finds out, they don't deserve to be put in that position."

"Right, I understand," Magnus said, "I understand." 

"Thank you." Miss. Branwell said, "And if he is inclined in a different direction, it is best for him that it never comes to light, he could be stripped of his Runes for it."

Magnus was horrified at what Miss. Branwell was implying, but he knew it to be true, the Clave had always been cruel and a gay Shadowhunter was as good as dead, if not physically than emotionally and spiritually.

"Shall we then?" Magnus changed the subject.

"Yes, come on then."

\-------


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Simon and Clary

Summary: Simon and Clary.

\----

Alec had been in the training room for hours, he still had a few hours before his patrol and he had been avoiding both Isabelle and Jace, Isabelle because of her flirting and Jace for his probing questions, he did not want to talk about the past, never did, it shocked him that he had been so forthcoming with Warlock Bane.

"That was brilliant." An excited voice said.

Alec glanced over and saw the redheaded girl from the first meeting with Warlock Bane and a young man with glasses, it took Alec a moment to realize that the boy was likely the Vampire.

Alec shrugged, "I guess."

"Where did you learn to fight like that?" The girl asked, "That's not like anything Jace has taught me."

The two approached him and Alec took a step back.

The Vampire halted the girl and looked at Alec, "We're making you uncomfortable."

Alec shrugged, "It's not really you."

"Just people." The Vampire said, knowingly.

"People are complicated." Alec said.

"Yeah, we can leave." The Vampire offered.

"But I want to learn, Simon." The girl whined.

"Clary, he obviously wants to be alone." Simon offered.

"So, it's the training room, he can train me." Clary said.

"I don't train children." Alec growled and turned to walk away.

"Clary!" 

Alec felt a hand wrap around his wrist and reacted, flipping the girl over his shoulder and slamming her harshly into the floor, slamming his knee into her diaphragm, making her gasp for breath as his hand on her shoulder forced her to remain gasping on the ground.

"What the heck is your problem?!" Jace's voice rang out as he shoved Alec away from Clary and helped her sit up.

Alec stared at her, hiding his shaking hands by grasping his arms behind his back by his elbows.

"Clary tried to stop him from leaving." Simon offered.

"No one asked you, Vamp." Jace snarled.

Alec's head snapped up, "That was uncalled for."

"Excuse me?" Jace growled as he helped Clary stand.

"I may have overreacted to a perceived threat but Simon was just telling you what happened." Alec told Jace.

"You know, you have some nerve to stand there after attacking someone and tell me what is called for or not." Jace growled as he crowded into Alec's face.

Alec refused to flinch, Jace was hardly frightening, Alec had faced a sent a Greater Demon back to it's realm, he might have nearly died afterwards but he had managed, Jace was no more than a child used to getting his way, and Clary was the same.

"She attacked me first." Alec responded.

"She grabbed your arm!" Jace yelled.

"Yeah, and the last time something did that I got a knife in my gut." Alec said.

Jace startled and stumbled back, "What?"

Alec raised an eyebrow, "I am not like you, Jace, I don't have a home Institute, I don't have the luxury of having someone to watch my back, if I wanted survive I needed to be cautious and quick to act. Just because we're in an Institute does not mean we are safe, we're just safer than being out there alone. I'd appreciate it if you and your people kept their hands to themselves and their opinions about what is appropriate as well, when they have my experiences then we can have a chat, until then..." Alec explained, "I'd also appreciate it if you'd watch how you treat others in my presence, and I think you owe Simon an apology."

"What?" Jace said, "No way."

Clary was staring at them and Simon shifted uncomfortably.

Alec stared at Jace and Jace started to feel uncomfortable as well under that gaze.

"Fine!" Jace snarled, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Simon said quietly.

"Come on, Jace, show me some moves." Clary said suddenly ad started to tug the other man away, she wanted to learn from Alec but she could see that there was no way the man was going to offer, not after the mess she had just made, she'd try again later, after he had time to forget about what had just happened.

"You okay?" Alec asked Simon.

"What? Oh, yeah, I'm fine, it's fine." Simon babbled.

"Hey, look at me, Fledgling," Alec started, Simon's head snapped up, body almost tense and his senses alert, Alec had learned this trick when he was twelve and had been dragged into a Clan of Vampires, they had wanted to drain him and they had been doing it slowly and Alec had observed how the older Vampires had treated the younger, newly turned ones, they had this tone of voice that demanded attention and obedience, it only worked on the newly turned and it was this tone Alec now used to make sure Simon was listening and that he would remember what Alec was about to tell him, "No one is allowed to you like you're less of a person just because you drink blood for nourishment instead of eating lettuce and cheese, have you ever killed anyone that was not attacking you?"

"No." Simon answered, shaking his head.

"Have you ever drank from someone who was unwilling, or hadn't offered?"

Simon shook his head.

"Then no one has any reason to treat you like you've done something wrong, you haven't at this point the only thing you have done is stop breathing and from what I'v heard yoou didn't even get the choice on whether you get to be buried or staked." Alec said.

"Clary made the choice." Simon said quietly.

"Yes, and it's time to make yours." Alec said.

Simon looked startled, "What do you mean?"

Alec sat on one of the benches and Simon followed.

"You're dead, Simon, you have a choice, you can cling to the remains of your human life and flounder when the last of it fades away, through the death of your last family member or the demolishing of a childhood home, or you can embrace what you've become, welcome it and move past what you were and be who and what you are."

"I don't have anywhere else to go." Simon whispered.

"What about your Sire?" Alec asked.

"I she's been sent to the Clave, for, um, for turning me." Simon told him.

"Ah, you know that the Clans always have open welcomes for newly turned, you just have to listen for the right words in the right places." Alec offered.

"How do I find that?" Simon asked.

"Or you can ask a Clan leader for acceptance, most will allow you to at least have access to blood and a chance to earn membership." Alec explained.

"How do you know this?" Simon asked, "I mean, generally Shadowhunters seem ignorant about any societal order among the Downworld."

"Most Shadowhunters don't spend years fending for themselves, a Shadowhunter without an Institute can barely be called a Shadowhunter." 

"And did you?" Simon asked.

"Did I what?" Alec asked.

"Call yourself a Shadowhunter?"

Alec stared at the Vampire, "No, I still don't, I'm not what they want or expect me to be, that itself would have them threaten to deRune me, but... I'm good, especially when it comes to Greater Demons."

"I... thank you."

It suddenly occurred to Alec that they hadn't introduced themselves and he smiled, "You're welcome, Simon, by the way, my name is James."

Simon grinned back, "Thank you, James. I... umm, hey, you can say no of course, but do you think you could teach me some of what you were doing?"

Alec looked at Simon, "Sure, let me just apply a couple Runes."

"Sure, awesome, take your time..." And Simon just kept babbling and Alec realized that maybe the Vampire could use that to his advantage.

\----

It took Clary two weeks to realize that there was no way that James had forgotten the incident in the training room and while he seemed happy to teach Simon, the Vampire babbling about everything from Star Wars to the history of male circumcision, he had flat out refused Branwell's request to teach Clary.

It annoyed Clary that the man refused, it also made her angry that Simon was now hanging out with Raphael during the early evening or early morning instead of answering her phone calls.

Clary sighed and watched Izzy and Jace spar, she wasn't even allowed to watch James train Simon, she was sure she could learn that way but when James had noticed her the two had asked Raphael if they could use the DeMort gym for their training sessions and Clary was starting to wonder if there was a Rune that would allow you to go forever without sleep because James never seemed to sleep, and he always seemed ready to go on patrols, she wondered how she was going to get her friend back and get James to like her.

\-----

Let's play spot the reference.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Someone is hurt
> 
> Warnings: In this chapter we explore Alec actual reason for running away. There is talk about bad parenting and even emotional Abuse implied.
> 
> Alec tells his parents that he thinks a boy is cute and they react badly, Alec later attempts suicide, he fails but again his parents are not very understanding and this makes Alec realize that he can't stay so he runs.

Summary: Some one is hurt.

\-----

Simon was panicking, he didn't know what to do and James wasn't very lucid at the moment.

Simon stumbled over to a wall and leaned the Shadowhunter against it, "What do I do? Oh, goodness!"

Simon paced back and fort, "I can call Clary! But his Runes aren't fixing it, he tried, and Clary's mad anyway."

"Simon?" James asked, lifting his head weakly.

Siomn knelt, "Yeah, I'm here, how you doing?"

James smiled a little before coughing, "You hurt?"

"What?" Simon asked, he was surprised, here James was, bleeding out and he was worried about him, the Vampire, even Clary took for granted that things wouldn't hurt him like they might have before.

"Hu-hurt?" James stuttered, barely hanging onto consiousness.

"You are." Simon answered.

James shook his head, "Si-Simuunnn." And then James was out.

It took Simon a moment to realize that James had been asking if Simon was hurt.

"Shit!" Simon shouted, "Oh gosh, I don't know what to do, what do I do?" 

Simon gasped, "I can call Raphael! But he's having dinner with Magnus Bane. It is an emergency, he would want me to call, right, he'd be mad if I didn't, right. Okay, I can take it even if he gets mad at me, This is James, he needs help. He needs help." Simon told himself as he dialed Raphael.

*I thought I told you not to call me tonight.* Raphael said.

"I know, I know, don't hang up." Simon shouted.

*Simon?* Raphael's tone changed from annoyed to worried at the panicked tone in Simon's voice, *What is it?*

"You know how I've been patrolling with a Shadowhunter, not Clary."

*Branwell is happ-*

"Yeah, you can tell me later," Simon interrupted, "James and I were patrolling and there was this demon and James is hurt and he's unconsious and his Runes aren't fixing it and I don't want him to die =, he was protecting me and he got hurt, Raphael, he needs help." Simon spoke quickly as James' blood spilled on the ground faster.

*We're coming, where are you, Magnus is going to portal us.*

Simon told them and dropped his phone as he dropped beside James, he could hear James' pulse slowing and he wanted to bite, to drink, to drain, but he held himself back and listened to the blood rushing through James' body, let the noise reassure him that James was still with him. The noise of the protal made him look up, his body instintively covering James' to protect him from further threat.

Raphael stared at Simon like he'd never seen him before and Simon hissed and snarled at the other Vampire when he tried to approach.

"Simon." Magnus said softly, "Raphael is not going to hurt your friend, but I need to help him, to fix him up, I'm going to help him get better."

Simon's gaze didn't leave Magnus as the Warlock slowly came closer, Raphael watching the interactions, in all his years he had never seen this happen, oh, he had heard about it but never thought it was more than a legend. A Fledgling that became a Clan leader merely by creating a Clan, it appeared that Simon's friend had gained a membership in Simon's Clan and Raphael was going to have to explain a whole lot more to the young Vampire.

Magnus' magic slowly knitted James' skin back together and he motioned Simon to lift the man as he made a new portal back to his appartment to continue fixing the man up.

 

\--------

Alec opened his eyes slowly and for a moment felt panic crawl into him as he didn't recognize his surroundings. Then he heard a murmuring of voices, one of them belonging to Warlock Bane and Alec let himself relax, falling back into darkness between one moment and the next.

When Alec opened his eyes again he had to use the bathroom and painfully made his way to the door he guessed hid the bathroom. He knew Warlock Bane had probably done the best he could to fix his every injury but Alec had been fairly resistant to magic since he had fought the Greater Demon Asmodeus and sent him back to Edom, he had noticed that he had better luck with Warlocks that were born from lesser demons so, if he had to hazard a guess he would have to say that Warlock Bane was the son of a Greater Demon and he was going to keep that information to himself, the last thing Warlock Bane needed was the Clave being even more suspicious of him if they knew about that.

"Ah, I thought I heard you get up." Warlock Bane smiled at Alec and and offered one back.

"Thank you, I can pay yo--" 

"Think nothing of it." Warlock Bane said waving a hand.

"I don't like owing people." Alec said with a frown.

"You don't."

"You saved my life." Alec pointed out, "And you take payment for every bit of magic you do."

Warlock Bane stared at him with a frown, Alec wanted that frown gone and he mentally shook away the thought of kissing it in to a smile.

"James." Warlock Bane said, "I helped you because you needed it and you are one of the only Shadowhunters that goes out of you way to be nice to every Downworlder, they say you treat them like they are people and not the monsters the Clave makes them out to be, that in itself would be payment enough for the small amout of healing I managed for you."

"That's not your fault." Alec told him.

"Oh?" Warlock Bane asked.

"My body doesn't handle magic from Greater Demon children very well." Alec explained wincing as Warlock Bane stiffened, "I won't tel the Clave, you don't deserve that."

"Then consider that secret my payment."

Alec frowned but nodded, "Okay."

"Well, if you're feeling well enough you're free to go, I've done all I can for you." Warlock Bane smiled.

"Was Simon okay?" Alec asked.

"Yeah, just worried about you, Raphael dragged him back to the Hotel to sleep."

Alec nodded, "Thank you again, Warlock Bane."

"Magnus, please." Warlock Bane smiled again as he walked Alec to the door

"I... Um..." Alec stepped out of the apartment, a blush spreading on his face as he stared at Warlock Bane not watching where he was going and suddenly he was suspended in air as he missed the stair and hit the floor below them brusing his hio where it his one of the stair's edges.

"Are you alright?" Warlock Bane asked as he stared down at Alec, a slightly satisfied smiled on his face as Alec's face burned.

"I think my pride died." Alec said.

Warlock Bane laughed as he walked down the stairs to stare down at Alec and he offered his hand to help the other man up.

Alec took the hand and stood, gingerly.

"I don't think my magic would help." Warlock Bane said.

"Probably not, but thank you."

"Ah, but it was my fault you fell." Warlock Bane told him.

"How so?" Alec asked.

"I distracted you." Warlock Bane smiled again and Alec grabbed the railing, just in case even as he blush returned, making Warlock Bane laugh again.

"You are distracting." Alec muttered, "I mean, you're magic... Sparkly and shiny and, Angel shut me up." 

Warlock Bane smiled, "I don't think you want me too."

Alec looked at Warlock Bane and realized that the smiled on his face was almost sad.

"Please?" Alec found himself whispering.

And then Warlock Bane's lips were on his and Alec was clutching at Warlock Bane's shirt and he never wanted to let go.

Warlock Bane pulled away slowly and stared at him, "James." he whispered and Alec felt his breath catch, this was wrong, he couldn't do this, not to Warlock Bane.

James didn't exist, everything about his was a fabrication, from his hair to his eyes and his name. James Leander was the name of a scared little boy who'd who had been too afraid of what his mother and father would do to him after he told them that he thought one of the boys in his training group was cute, back when he still thought that they would love him even if he was wrong inside, after he had told them, after they had told him that his feelings were wrong he had asked them to help make him right but they hadn't and so he had tried to make it right, he'd read that people like him should die, so he had tried, tried and failed.

Hodge Starkweather had found him and taken him to the medical wing and he'd listened to his mother yell and hadn't been able to meet his father's disappointed eyes, whether he was disappointed in the attempt at death or that he'd failed at dying Alec hadn't been able to tell and was afraid to ask.

He'd snuck out after the doctor and nurse had gone, he'd whispered a goodbye to his sister through her door after he had packed a bag and then he'd run, he'd run and never looked back except to miss his sister and worry about how she was doing under their parents' expectations, if he'd been older he might have tried taking her with him but he'd known he wouldn't be able to keep them both safe and he knew that Isabelle would understand that staying with his parents would eventually kill him and Alec had learned that he wanted to live, just not by the Clave's rules or his parent's.

Alec felt his heart break for what he was about to do as he stared into Warlock Bane's sparkling eyes.

"You're right, I didn't want that." Alec whispered.

Warlock Bane stepped back, he eyes filled with tears and Alec ignored them.

"I... I think I should go." Alec said and turned his back on the Warlock.

"Yes, you should." Warlock Bane said and Alec ignored the crack in his voice.

Alec nodded and left, glancing up before he disappeared from view, Warlock Bane had turned away from the stairs and his body shook from his sobs and Alec wanted to run back and take the man in his arms and make everything right but nothing was right, not with Alec, he was all wrong inside and nothing would ever be able to change that.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Parents

Summary: Parents 

\------

Alec finished making his sandwich and sat at one of the tables planning to just disappear for a while, somehow he had gotten everyone mad at him. Clary was still mad about him refusing to train her, Jace was mad at him because Clary was, Isabelle was mad at him for reasons Alec wasn't going to even try to understand, Simon was standing with Raphael because Warlock Bane was refusing to talk to him and Alec understood that Warlock Bane had a perfectly good reason to be upset with him, heck even Alec was mad at himself for what he'd done to Warlock Bane.

Alec lifted his sandwich to his mouth as the door to the dining area opened and Alec felt his appitite vanish, it felt like his stomach had been removed even as he felt the burn of vomit at the back of his throat as two older people entered the room, Jace and Isabelle following, they were talking to a little boy but Alec only had eyes for his parents.

Alec set his sandwich down and tried to control his rebelling stomach, Oh, Angel, this couldn't be happening, please let this be a dream. Alec begged silently.

"You must be Mr. Leander." His mother said as she stopped before him.

Alec stood and forced himself to offer his hand and tried not to shudder as she grasped it in her hand, the last time she'd touched him it had been her hand holding too tightly to his shoulder as she walked him home from training after he had called one of the other boys cute.

"Yes." Alec said.

"Hmm, Lydia has only good things to say, although I believe you are much too kind with the Downworlders, you have to show you are stronger than them." 

Alec pressed his lips together tightly before deciding not to keep his silence, "With all due respect, Mrs. Lightwood, That is to say none at all, I think the opinion of a former Circle member on how one should treat Downworlders should be kept to yourselves."

Maryse Lightwood stood speechless, her mouth hung open as she stared at Alec.

"What does he mean, mom?" The little boy asked.

Alec felt his heart stop, he had a little brother apparently. He couldn't be much older than nine, he should be getting his first Rune soon, it was probably why they were here.

"Mom? Why did he call you a former Circle member." Isabelle asked, and Alec realized that even now his parents had kept their alliance with Valentine secret.

"How dare you!" Maryse burst out.

"What, afraid to hear that you are nothing more than a person who thinks that they are better than anyone else just because we have the blood of Angels? Please, we all bleed, whether it is red, green or even purple doesn't matter and when you're dead you're dead Demon blood or Angel blood dead is dead is dead." Alec snapped at her, "Stay away from me, Lightwood, next time you throw this horseshit at me I won't be so polite."

Alec turned to the little boy and crouched down to his eye level, ignoring the antsy feeling from putting his back to his mother and father.

"I'm sorry you had to see all that, kiddo, but it never hurts to be respectful of others until they give you a reason not to be." Alec told the boy.

"The Circle are bad people, my parents aren't bad." The boy said.

Alec frowned, "Maybe not, but maybe they aren't good either."

"Get away from my brother, you've done enough." Isabelle snarled, pulling the boy away from Alec by his shoulders.

Alec looked up at her and realized that he had forgotten that this wasn't his family anymore, he wasn't a big brother anymore, he'd given that up when he'd walked away from them ten years ago.

Alec stood and left the room, he walked until he found himself in his secret place. It was a hidden room that Alec had found when he was around six, he'd never told anyone about it but he had always run here when he needed time or to be alone, he wasn't entirely sure why he hadn't tried to end his life here, he never would have been found.

He shook his head and looked around the small room, there were rags all over the room and Alec realized that they were all that remained of the stolen blankets that he had made a blanket fort with and left behind when he'd run away.

Alec sat down against the wall and the little door closed and he let his eyes close as he pulled his legs to his chest and let himself cry, shoulders shaking and the meaty part of his palm shoved in his mouth to muffle his noise. It was a familiar position, he'd been in this position many times before he'd gone and how was it so easy for his mother to reduce him to that scared little boy that begged his mommy to fix him, just please make him better.

\--------

Alec woke disorientated and wondered why he was so cold, usually he tried to find a nice dirt spot to sleep, preferably under a grouping of bushes, he could deal with the spiders but the cold wasn't something he liked. It took him a moment after scrubbing the crust from his eyesto remember that he wasn't sleeping on the street, that he'd been staying at the Institute and that he had encountered his mother and father yesterday... and his little brother.

Alec sat up and sighed, he looked around and stared at the stained glass window, Alec had always wondered why that window existed here. Light filtered in through it but Alec had never been able to find the window from outside . The window told a story, Alec knew it probably wasn't true seeing as the story the window told was how Johnathon Shadowhunter had worked beside the First Warlock and the Window implied that the two had been lovers and when Johnathon had tried to seal the entrance to the Hell Realms he had failed at first, his sword becoming brittle and breaking, Jonathon Shadowhunter had turned to teh Warlock and begged him to help and the man had offered a way, but the way would kill Johnathon, Johnathon had insisted and the Warlock had reached into Johnathon's chest and pulled the Soul Sword from his very soul and watched Johnathon seal the Hell Realms away and collapse to the earth, gasping as the little remainder pf his soul crossed over.

The Warlock had buried Johnathon and entrusted the Soul Sword to the Seven Brothers that had offered the two aid and sanctuary, he had intrusted the seven with Johnathon's Journels and vanished, never to be seen or heard from again, known only to Alec through a window that no one else had ever seen.

The Seven Brothers had eventually become the Silent Brothers and still they kept the Soul Sword, or at least they did when it wasn't stolen.

Alec sighed and stood up, streatching his body before exiting the small room.

He'd only been walking for a moment before Lydia caught up with him, "There you are, I've been looking for you."

"Sorry." Alec said, "I had an encounter yesterday." 

Lydia grinned, "I heard, do you know how much I've always wanted to say something like that to her?"

Alec shrugged.

"Did it feel good?" Lydia asked excitedly before actually looking at Alec, "James, are you alright?"

Alec leaned against the wall and felt his stomach rebel again, "I don't think I am."

"It's hitting you isn't it? What you did?" Lydia asked.

Alec shook his head, "I don't think this has to do with them."

"What do you mean?"

Alec ran toward the enterance of the Institute and saw Clary fighting with a young man that Alec only knew as Sebastian.

"What is going on?" Lydia yelled as she duck with Alec next to Jace and Isabelle behind one of the desks.

"Every tim we pop up an Arrow almost hits us, we have to get to Clary."

"MAX!" Isabelle shouted, as the boy stepped out of the hall, Alec heard an echoing scream from his mother and father beut he was already moving, sprinting across the room and grabbing the boy under his arms as he lifted the boy up and dived behind a different desk.

"James!" Lydia shouted, "You good?!"

"Not dead yet, Ma'am!" Alec shouted at her as he pulled the two knives he had been hit with from his shoulder and side, the boy, Max staring at him as he applied the Iratz Rune.

"But you're hurt." The boy said, "Why don't you tell her, she'd probably let you sit out."

"Listen, kiddo, sometimes there isn't time to sit out. You stay here, don't move, got it?" Alec asked.

The boy nodded seriously as Alec shifted to get a better view, "Shit." Alec muttered as Sebastian started dragging Clary to the door, his people following him, "I'm going to regret this, so much."

Alec placed his palm flat on the desk, shifted up into a crouch, put his other hand on his blade and then he launched himself up and over the desk running towards the fleeing group, ducking blades and driving his own into the men, sweeping feet out from under them and then Alec was in front of Sebastian and Clary.

Sebastian looked impressed, "You know we could use a man like you."

"Yeah, well, Genocidal racism, not really my style." Alec tisked, "How about you let me have Clary back."

"Why should I?" Sebastian asked.

"Honestly, I don't want to listen to Jace whine about her." Alec said honestly.

"Don't you like her?" 

Alec shrugged, "Not particularly, I don't really like most people, so, nothing personal towards her."

"Thanks, James." Clary said sarcastically.

Alec rolled his eyes and continued movine forward slowly, Sebastian hadn't noticed yet.

"Are you sure I can't persuade you to join the Circle?" Sebastian asked.

Alec let his face shift into a thoughtful expression, "Well..." 

"JAMES!" Lydia shouted as she stepped closer after dealing with Sebastian's minions with Jace and the others.

Alec ignored her and moved, grabbing Clary and shoving her towards Jace, who caught her, stumbling.

Alec stopped the first stab towards him but missed the second, and shoved him away, pulling the knife from his side, "This is a very nice blade, can I keep it?"

Sebastian stared at Alec and Alec darted forward to grab Sebastian and throw him to the ground.

"So, I was actually serious about the knife." Alec said as Lydia came to tie the man's hand.

"Really?" Sebastian asked.

"Yeah." Alec shrugged, "I never joke about weapons."

"Um..." Sebastian stared at Alec, "I guess you can have it."

"Cool." Alec grinned, looking down at his new knife as he pulled out his Stele to apply another Iratz.

"I think I owe you a thank you." Maryse said as she aproached Alec.

Alec looked at her, "Hey, I wouldn't let any child get caught up in this and get hurt."

Alec looked from her to crouch down and smile at Max, "You should probaly get someone to teach you a long range weapon, put your parent's mind at ease about at least one of their kids not being on the front lines."

"I like the bow." Max grinned.

Maryse took a sharp breath and Alec made sure his face remained passive, before he had run he had wanted to learn, his mother had said it was a weak weapon and had refuse to allow him to learn, he'd managed over the years to learn a little but he was better with mele weapons due to always fighting alone, closer was better and easier.

"Yeah, I'm passable with one, but I never got the chance to learn formally." Alec grinned, "We'll talk to Lydia, I'm sure she could find someone to teach you."

"Cool." Max grinned back and ran to tell Isabelle.

Maryse was staring at Alec as he stood, "Thank you, you're good with him."

Alec smiled sadly, "I had a little sister." 

"What happened to her?" Maryse asked, curious.

Alec shrugged, "She doesn't even know who I am anymore."

"I'm sorry to hear that." Maryse told him.

"Yeah." Alec sounded as he watched Jace pick Max up and throw him on to his shoulder as Clay and Isabelle laughed.

Alec shook his head, "I better go make my report."

\---------

Maryse watched Leander leave and wondered about the look of longing he'd given Jace, Isabelle, and Max, there was more to it than a sister who no longer knew him. Maryse wanted to learn about this young man who managed to save her son and make her feel actual guilt about being a former Circle member, something the Clave had failed at.

The way he had framed Valentine's Ideals, 'Genocidal Racism' that wasn't spur of the moment, James had thought about it, thought about Valentine's ideals and found them abhorrent.

For a second Maryse had seen someone else in that look James had case at her children, a boy that no one had seen or heard from in ten years.

Maryse looked at the little alter that she had let Isabelle build a month after Alexander had vanished, she was sure the boy was dead, his suicide attempt before he vanished made Maryse think such but how could she tell her baby girl that her brother was dead? So, Isabelle had made the alter and when Isabelle was twelve Maryse had let her light the candle on Alexander's birthday and everyday after, and as there was a candle burning there Maryse knew that Isabelle still did it.

Maryse looked at the picture, none of Alexander's photos had him smiling and Maryse couldn't remember his smile, he'd been so frightened the last time she'd seen his face, when he'd been in the medical bed looking so small and pale in the startched sheets with bandages wrapped from wrist to elbow, had Hodge been any later Alexander would have been dead at ten years old by his own hand, Alexander had kept his gaze on his clasped hands that rested in his lap as she yelled at him about how disappointed she was in him.

Maryse regretted a lot; she regretted marrying her husband, and she knew he did as well, having a lover on the side prove that, she regretted letting herself be taken in by Valentine, and she regretted the way she had treated her son, he'd asked her to help fix him, to make himself right. Maryse remembered the fear in his eyes when she had told him that boys did not think other boys were cute, that it was wrong and that it couldn't be fixed, that he was broken beyond repair.

By the Angel, she wished she could apologize to her son. Maryse looked at the photo, the fake little white daisys and pink roses that surrounded the frame, curtisy of an eight year old Isabelle, her poor baby, she wondered how long he had lasted before he'd been killed.

He'd been so young and tried so hard and Maryse knew there was no forgiving herself for what she had done to her child, she may not have killed him personally but she had been the driving force that sent him to death.

 

\-------

Okay, A/N I am trying to have Alec never outright lie to anyone so if I miss something that contridicts what was said before let me know. and let me know what you think about Maryse's POV.


	7. Teh Soul Sword

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: The Soul Sword

Summary: The Soul Sword

\---------

"So, what did you do to Warlock Bane?" Izzy asked as she sat next to James.

James shrugged.

"It's just, he went from just staring at you whenever you were in the same room and now he won't even look at you." Izzy pressed.

"Doesn't matter, can you just pay attention to the mission?" James asked.

"Oh, it's a Lover's spat." Izzy, grinned, "Just say sorry." 

"You don't understand, it's better this way." James said, "And we aren't Lovers, the Clave would never allow us to be."

Izzy frowned, "What do you mean?"

"I mean that even if I wanted, even if I said something, the Clave would never let it happen, they would deRune and take my memories before they let me love a male Warlock. And I don't even want to think about what they would do to Warlock Bane, if they didn't kill him he would probably be imprisoned for the rest of his life." James said softly.

"You really think so?" Izzy asked, fear in her voice.

"I suspect that is why Lydia wants you two to be discrete."

"You know?!" Izzy shouted.

"Who do you think covers for Lydia when you two are canoodling?" James asked.

"I, well..., Thank you." Izzy said heartfeltedly.

"Yeah, well, stop flirting with me and we'll call it even." James said.

Izzy grinned, "Deal."

"Good, now there he is." James pointed to Valentine, "Let the others know we got him."

"On it." Izzy grinned, "Don't lose him, we need to find the Soul Sword, the Seelie Queen threatened war if we couldn't produce the Sword."

"You mean that Seelie Queen?" James asked, pointing.

Izzy stared at the two as they hugged, "I need to get a picture."

"Here, use mine." James handed the phone to her without taking his eyes from the pair.

"Right, thanks." Izzy took the phone, "You don't have very many numbers in here." Izzy observed.

"Don't know too many people." James said.

"Warlock Bane is in here." Izzy teased.

James blushed, "I like to hear his voice before I go to sleep."

Izzy looked at James and felt sad for him, he'd chosen to protect Warlock Bane the only way he knew how and that was to be alone without him.

"I like to talk to Lydia before bed too." Izzy said.

"You take the picture?"

"Yeah, sending it to Clary, Jace, and Lyds. Done." Izzy handed the phone back, "Should we get closer?"

"Sure." A different voice said.

Izzy and James whirled around, "Meliorn!" 

"Yes." The fae said and motioned his men to grab them.

James tensed, looking ready to fight.

"And any resistence and I'll kill Isabelle, I know you have a soft spot for her." Meliorn said.

James sighed and let two fae take an arm each and began marching them down from the roof they had been watching from.

\--------

Alec tried to think about how he was going to get Isabelle out of this, but there was nothing.

The fae pushed him down to his knees and Isabelle hit the ground next to him, several Seelie and Circle members surrounding them.

"Hello, I'm glad you could join us." Valentine said.

The Seelie Queen stared at them impassively.

"You'll never get away with inciting a War!" Isabelle yelled at her.

Alec rolled his eyes upwards.

"I already have." 

"We sent your picture to others." Isabelle informed her with a grin.

Alec looked at her, what was she doing?

"Enough." Valentine interrupted, "So, you must be the one that got my son sent to Idris."

"Which one, the one that's blood or the one you raised?" Alec asked.

"How did you find out?" Valentine asked.

"Not too hard, Wayland's been dead for about six years." Alec said.

"That's oddly specific, how do you know." Valentine asked.

Alec shrugged, "What's it matter?"

"You know you would do well among my people, that you bested both my sons speaks to your skills."

"Like I told Sebastian, Genocidal Racism is not something I'm into." Alec told him simply.

"Then I have no use for you."

"You had no use for me anyway." Alec said, "You were always planning on killing us."

The Seelie Queen looked startled, "You said we would just start the War."

Alec laughed, drawing her attention, "Really? He actively hates on anything to do with the Downworld and you just, what, thought he'd let you and yours scamper back to your Realm?" Alec shook his head, "After he gets rid of the Downworlders here he plans on going after you and you'll have no allies to help you. Your people would die eventually."

The sound of clapping filled the air.

"I'm really impressed." Valentine said, "I'd be more impressed if I had your loyalty."

"No." Alec said.

"Unfortunate."

"For me and Isabelle, I suppose."

"And me, imagine what you could do by my side." Valentine offered.

"Nothing I couldn't do on my own." Alec countered.

The Seelie Queen stared at Alec and Alec wondered why she did but then he felt a pressure in his brain and whisper in his ear, 'What else do you know about him?' The soft voice, like a babbling brook, inquired.

"How many people do you have surrounding us?" Alec asked.

"You are smart, take a guess."

The Seelie Queen gave a subtle command to her men to go looking for them.

"If it were me?" Alec asked, "Well, if I had any one following my orders, I'd have two per person expected and six extra, but you're not me so, I guess you've picked your top five fighters and positioned them to surround the meeting place."

"I do wonder who taught you how to do that." Valentine said.

"Do what?" 

"Predict what someone is planning." Valentine smiled, it was not a nice smile as he came closer to Alec and pressed his blade against Alec's neck and forced his gaze to the sky.

"My mother." Alec informed him, the knife digging into his neck a little as he spoke, a trickle of blood soaking his collar.

"Well, I'll have to offer her a place."

Alec grinned, "She had one."

"What?" Valentine looked startled and the blade dug into his neck further.

Alec gasped.

'Keep his attention for just a bit longer, they are finishing up and your fellows are on their way.' The brook sang.

"My mother was a first Circle member." Alec said.

"Was she? Tell me."

"What does it matter? I'm dead anyway." Alec said simply.

Valentine looked at Alec and then to Isabelle, "I suppose I can offer your friend her life."

Alec looked at the stars, perfect.

"How many people betrayed you?" Alec asked.

The knife dug into his neck and Valentine growled wordlessly, "Not many who had children."

"That you know of," Alec gasped, "If it were me I'd keep my kids away from anyone that might harm them, and when you fight in a war..., well, I'd rather have them thinking I left them than have them dead."

"Well, you're a smart one aren't you?" 

"Not as much as one might think."

"No?" Valentine asked.

"If I was smart I'd stay right where I am." Alec offered and as an Arrow sped into one of Valentine's visable men and Alec moved, shoving his shoulder into Valentine, barely avoiding having his throat cut open.

"I suppose you aren't smart." Valentine grinned, "You don't even have your hands free."

Valentine lunged at Alec wh dodged back and swung his leg at Valentine's, who stumbled as he avoided the kick.

"I broke my right arm and left wrist one summer, had to learn to fight without them." Alec shrugged.

"Your parents don't seem to care for your wellbeing."

"No, they don't, didn't." Alec offered.

The rest of the group was finshing up with the people they were fighting and Alec noticed that Isabelle had been freed and Warlock Bane was casting magic at several Circle members.

"I just wonder how you were going to prove you had the Soul Sword, it had to be close right?" Alec asked as he kicked at Valentine again.

"You're right." And suddenly Valentine had it in his hands and was swinging it at Alec, who barely managed to duck, "Oh, I have to activate it but I'll figure it out." 

Alec kept dodging, he had to figure out how to get his hands free, he ducked down to a knee and kicked out at Valentine's ankle and the man fall back as Alec stood.

Alec looked down at Valentine who grinned up at him, "It seems like such a waste." He said.

Alec realized the position he put himself it a moment too late, "I suppose it does." He offered as Valentine thrust the Sould Sword up and into his body and Alec's knees gave out and he fell to the ground, hands still tied behind him so he couldn't even try holding his blood inside his body.

Alec watched Valentine stand and the man looked down at Alec before kneeling next to the dying man, "Such a waste, you could have been great by my side."

Alec gasped, his hands wiggling, fraying the rope further from where the Soul Sword had nicked it, "I was great anyway."

Valetine found himself nodding, "You were."

Alec let out a weak chuckle.

"What is so funny?"

Alec smiled, blood on his lips as he gazed up at the blurring stars, the rope finally breaking, "The stars."

Valentine looked up and Alec reached for the hilt of the Soul Sword and pulled it from the man weakly, the shock of Alec grabbing the Sword allowing him to succeed.

Alec managed to push himself up to his feet, the Sword in his hands as he stumbled back from the man, towards where the others were fighting.

"How long can you last with all the blood you're losing?" Valentine asked as he followed the young man.

"Not long, but I don't need long." Alec turned suddenly, "MAGNUS!"

\----

Magnus looked up, startled at an unfamiliar call of his name and his eyes found James who grinned, "CATCH!"

And the man threw the Sword in his hand at him and Magnus moved to catch it even as Morgenstern Shoved James to the ground and then the Sword was in Magnus' hand and it warmed and before Magnus could think the action through he was swinging the Sword into the body of one of Morganstern's men.

In short order the Circle members were rounded up, Morgenstern among them and Magnus was giving the Sword to Miss Branwell as the Seelie Queen offered her apologies and platitudes, and Magnus went in search of James, he wanted to know why he'd been called out to instead of some other Shadowhunter.

Gasping drew him to a tree and there was James sitting on the ground against it, hands holding his stomach cast in darkness.

Magnus summoned a light and hit the ground next to the man, reaching for his hands.

James moaned in protest.

"Leander, I need to see how bad it is." Magnus said.

"Bad." James gasped, "It's bad."

James lifted his head to look at Magnus and he smiled, his hand leaving his would to touch Magnus' cheek, leaving a swip of his blood, "Your eyes are sparkling."

"What?" Magnus asked as he looked at James' wound and sent a quick message to Catarina, she'd be along shortly and Magnus would never express how glad she was born from a lesser demon.

"They look like stars, I like stars." James whispered as his head fell against Magnus' shoulder, he turned to look up at Magnus, "Thank you for giving me the Stars, Magnus."

James reached up to trace Magnus' cheek again and then his hand fell and James sagged against him, his breath little gasps as Magnus held him and tried his best to heal him.

Catarina knelt across from him and added her power to his and Magnus held the man tightly ad prayed to powers that he had long ago ceased believing in that James would be alright.

\--------


	8. Suspicions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Suspicions

Summary: Suspicions

\------

"How is he?" Izzy asked Warlock Bane as she looked down at the man in the bed.

"The same as before." Warlock Bane sighed, "He has barely even twitched."

"That he is even alive surprised everyone." 

"Why?" Warlock Bane asked.

"No one has ever been stabbed with the Soul Sword and lived." Izzy explained.

Warlock Bane's breath hitched and Izzy asked, "What did he say to you that has kept you by his side when you've barely even looked at him in the past month?"

Warlock Bane shivered and took James' hand in his and pressed a light kiss to it before settling the intertwined hands on the crisp white sheets.

"He, I don't know what to think, first he pushes me away and then he..." Warlock Bane stopped and looked at James' face.

Izzy sat next to Warlock Bane, "Do you know that I have never heard of an openly gay Shadowhunter?"

Warlock Bane looked at her.

"I asked my mother about it and she, she said that the Clave does not allow gay Shadowhunters and that they did not exist." Izzy explained.

"That's impossible." Warlock Bane said.

"Not if they made them disappear." Izzy said, "Lydia and I are working with the Seelie Queen and the rest of the Downworld, we're going to make it safer for Shadowhunters to love who they want, we live such short lives any way we should be free to love who we want."

Warlock Bane nodded, "Thank you."

"I don't know if that will make him say something, Warlock Bane, he wanted to protect you, he knew that he could be deRuned but he was more concerned with what the Clave might do to you and he didn't want that to happen." Izzy told him as she stood to leave, "Lydia says you can stay as long as you want and Warlock Loss should be back when her shift is over to check in on him, she asked to be called if he wakes, but then everybody asked for that, even the Seelie Queen."

Warlock Bane nodded and Izzy was almost to the door when Warlock Bane called out to her.

"Miss Lightwood?"

"Yes?" Izzy said as she turned back to him.

"You asked me what he said, he thanked me for giving him the Stars." Warlock Bane said.

"What?" Izzy asked in surprise.

"Does that mean something to you?" Warlock Bane asked as Izzy walked back to him.

"It's just...it's something that my older brother used to say." Izzy told him.

Warlock Bane frowned at her, "I didn't know you had an older brother, I thought you were the oldest."

Izzy shook her head, "My older brother, Alec, loved the stars, it was one of the few things that my mother actually said he was good at, knowing how to use the stars to tell where he was." Izzy explained, "Alec, Alec would tell me to never accept a relationship where the person didn't give me the stars with their kiss, it was such an odd thing to say, especially since he was only eight at the time but he used to say that dad didn't give mom the stars and... " Izzy stopped.

"Does Lydia give you Stars?" Warlock Bane asked.

"Yes." Izzy answered, "I'm sorry, it's just odd that James would mention Stars, it's probably a coincidence."

"Maybe." Warlock Bane said but he seemed thoughtful, "Can you get me some of your mother's DNA?"

"Why?" Izzy asked.

"We kissed, just once and then he pushed me away but it may not be a coincident that he mentioned Stars." Warlock Bane said.

"You think James could be Alec?" Izzy asked, "But why wouldn't he say anything?"

"Why did he vanish?" Warlock Bane asked.

"I was only eight and I was finally starting my training." Izzy mused.

"That seems late for a Shadowhunter." Warlock Bane observed.

"Alec kept trying to get it to be later, he succeeded until that year, he was trying to keep me safe, I know that now but then, back then I resented it, he was already paroling with some of the fifteen year olds at ten, and then one day he was just gone." Izzy said looking at the man in the bed, "He doesn't have the right hair and his eyes aren't the right color."

"People can get colored contacts and he dies his hair." Warlock Bane told her.

"I'll get the DNA, I need to know." Izzy said, "I need to tell him sorry and that I miss him."

"I'm sure that where ever your brother is he knows that and that you love him." Warlock Bane offered.

"Thank you, I should... Lydia is probably worried, I'm a little late."

Warlock Bane nodded and Izzy left.


	9. The Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Magnus gives Alec the Stars

Summary: Magnus give Alec the Stars

\------

Alec opened his eyes, his body hurt and it took him a moment to remember why, honestly as he looked around Alec was surprised that he had even woken up at all, he was pretty sure he been dead, Warlock Bane had been holding him in his arms like he mattered and all Alec had seen were the sparkles in the man's eyes that twinkled like the stars.

Alec tried to push himself into a sitting position only to gasp in pain and fall back to the bed trying to curl up but that made him hurt more and he was gasping for breath when a blue woman with white hair came rushing in.

"Stop moving." She said and helped Alec back into a relatively painless position, "There, is that better?"

Alec nodded, "Who are you?"

"Catarina Loss." The woman said, "I've been your healer for the last week. I need to ask you a few questions, are you up for that?"

Alec nodded again, "Go ahead."

"What is the last thing you remember?" Warlock Loss asked.

Alec had a feeling that the Stars would not be a good answer to give, "I remember Warlock Bane trying to heal me." Alec doubted that Warlock Bane would not have at least true, no matter how angry he was with Alec Warlock Bane would have tried to fix him even knowing that it would be useless.

"Tried, being the deal, he didn't have much success and neither did I, I managed to get you stable enough to get you to the hospital trama room, they were better equiped to help and then once you were patched up enough that you wouldn't be worse off we brought you here to the Institute." Warlock Loss explained, "Now, what is your name?"

"James Leander." Alec told her.

She nodded, "Age?" 

"20, give or take a month or two." Alec shrugged, he had stopped paying attention to dates when he was on the streets and the actual day of his birth had never really been celebrated, when he still lived at the Institute he would just let it pass and Isabelle would just pick a day and she would tell him 'happy birthday' and give him a gift and her cookie and that day would be his birthday for that year.

Warlock Loss frowned, "Date of birth?"

"Don't remember it, I don't know that I ever actually knew it." Alec told her.

"What about your parents?" Warlock Loss asked and suddenly she was concerned that there was a worse history to the man in the bed.

"I'd rather not talk about them." Alec admitted.

"Well, Mr. Leander, as far as I can tell you are no worse than you were before, except for the wound in you gut and the nick on your neck." Warlock Loss stood to leave, "Get a bit more rest, every one wants to visit you."

Alec nodded, "Was every on else okay?"

"You were the worst of it and you almost died, we're not sure if it was your natural resistance to magic or if the cause was the Soul Sword, it was not made to be used like that."

Alec frowned, "Wasn't it?"

"I don't know what the Clave has told you but no, it wasn't." Warlock Loss told him.

"The Sword just is, we were never told how it came to be." Alec told her, "But I think it may have been an actual soul once, drawn out by a Warlock."

Warlock Loss looked startled, "How did you come by this information?"

Alec shrugged, eyes drooping, "There's a window that can't be found from outside, it has the story."

"Sleep." Warlock Loss murmured, brushing his hair.

Alec mumbled, "Magnus?"

"Magnus, is fine, sleep."

\-------

Catarina looked down at the sleeping man and wondered where that room was and how it had gotten there, she knew that some of the older Institutes had a similar room, one that could only be found by Shadowhunters that needed some one to care for them but usually a Warlock would appear soon after they found the room and take them away, but why would Leander have been the exception? And why did the New York Institute have the room, as far as Institutes went, it was a fairly new Institute.

Catarina sighed, it looked like there was a long night of research ahead of her, she wondered is Magnus might help her but then she shook her head, she knew that Magnus was going to come camp out in the room until Leander woke again, he was going to be upset that he had missed the man waking but Magnus had needed the shower and to sleep in his own bed.

\--------

Magnus was watching James as he breathed deeply and evenly, yesterday he had missed the man's first waking and he intended not to miss the second, he needed to know what the mn meant by what had almost been his last words and Magnus decided that he was not going to let himself be pushed away a second time and if he had to rage a War against the Clave to love and be loved by the Shadowhunter laying in the bed then a War the Clave would have and, from the rumor mill, he would have an Army of various Downworlders and Shadowhunters that were demanding the right to love who they wanted, male or female, Downworlder of Mundane, and Isabelle Lightwood was leading the charge with Lydia Branwell, even the Seelie Queen was backing the two when Isabelle had mentioned that James had feelings for Magnus.

The Clave was trying to placate the group but they would not be placated, they wanted to love who they wanted and they would not stop until they would not be cast out for it. 

Even Maryse Lightwood had thrown in her support, which had shocked not only her children but the Clave itself, and there was a sorrow in her eyes that no one dared ask about, afterall every Shadowhunter knew her son had vanished and never been seen again, not at any Institute, not by any patrol and there was something heartbreaking about a Shadowhunter being lost and their body never recovered, even Morgenstern had made sure that all bodies, enemy and thier own, had been recovered and the souls returned to the Angel.

Magnus shook his thoughts away, at the rate Isabelle and Miss Branwell were going they would have the Clave folding inside a week, but Magnus didn't care at the moment, he just wanted James to wake up.

Catarina had taken the DNA sampe he had offered and told him that she'd run it but the results would be discussed with James first, if he didn't want them to know they wouldn't, there had to be a reason for him to hid and Catarina was not going to be the one that sent him back to a family that had not treated James kindly.

Magnus had agreed with her, James had told him just a small bit of his life, a piece or two from before he'd run from his parents and after he had been on his own and from that information plus some stories from Isabelle Magnus realized that, perhaps, James had been better off on his own, even if he had not had the protection of an Institute behind him.

It had shocked the Clave that so many Downworlders had inquired after the man laying in the bed, hell, it had shocked everyone when Morgenstern and his son had asked after the man and Magnus was slightly concerned at their interest but Clary had told him about the son's interest and The Seelie Queen had mentioned that Morgenstern had been mightily impressed with James, and she was too, she even had a plan to steal the man away to her Realm but knew she would probably fail, unless the Clave remains rigid in their dealings and then she planned to offer santuary to the rebelling Shadowhunters because she was sure that would win her points with James and she felt she owed it to him for revealing Morgenstern's plan for her Court, a plan she had not seen.

"Any change?" Simon asked as he entered the room.

"Not yet." Magnus replied.

"How are you doing?" Simon asked as he handed Magnus a bag of food, "Catarina says to eat all of that."

Magnus sighed, "I wish he would wake up."

Magnus opened the box of Chinese food and began to eat it with the chopsticks.

"That smells disgusting." James murmured adn he opened his eyes, "Can I have some?"

Magnus chuckled and set the food aside and helped James sit up as Simon got out a second container and a fork, "I won't tell her if you don't." He told Magnus.

Magnsu grinned and nodded as James took the food and began to scarf the food down.

The two immortals stared with both facination and disgust at James who managed to eat everything in his box in under two minutes and then they remembered that James had spent several years on the streets, he probably hadn't had regular meals since he had run away, and Magnus didn't know if James had ever told him how old he had been when he ran away.

"I can always summon more." Magnus offered.

James shook his head, "I'm good, probably until sometime tomorrow, maybe the next day." James shrugged.

"Doesn't the Institute provide food?" Simon asked.

"Sure, but I don't actually get that hungry." James told them.

"Right, I should go tell Lydia and Izzy that you're away, they need to talk to you." Simon said and motioned to the door before leaving.

Magnus set his food to the side and looked at James.

"What?" James asked.

\---------

"We need to talk."

"Why?" Alec asked, "What do we have to talk about?"

Alec turned from Warlock Bane, he knew exactly what they had to talk about, when he was sure he was dead he had thanked Warlock Bane for a kiss he had denied wanting and Warlock Bane might not even realized that was what he was thanking him for, Alec remembered muttering a thanks for the stars before his Stars were gone and he'd been sure he was never going to wake and he had been so thankful that Warlock Bane had been holding him as he died because he had wanted so much more with the Warlock but would settle for the man holding him as he died.

Alec could feel Warlock Bane's gaze boring into the side of his face and wondered if perhaps the man would consider him too much effort and leave whatever it was they had, broken and shattered as it was, and just let it remain so, nothing more than a series of almost moments and desparate longing and want that Alec was just too damn scared to try having. Alec wasn't good at keeping what he had when he had it, when he was almost eleven, he'd still been living on the streets of New York, he'd found a tiny cat, it was the cutest thing and Alec had pet the thing and fed it some of the meager scraps he had managed to scrounge up and then one day the cat had been gone. Alec had searched for weeks trying to find the cat but he never had and after a month he had decided to get out of New York and he'd never wanted to come back.

"You know what, James."

Alec looked at Warlock Bane, startled, the man had never called him James, not after the Kiss.

"You thanked me for the Stars." Warlock Bane said, "What exactly were you thanking me for?"

Alec felt his cheeks burn, "I... I had lost a lot of blood."

"James."

Something in the way Warlock Bane said his name made Alec look at him, what he saw was understanding, hope and something Alec had never seen directed at him, something he had observed through windows and at parks when he was digging through trash for a half eaten hotdog, something that had always made him smile, even when his stomach was cramping from hunger or his bones were throbbiing from cold, seeing people wearing that look when they gazed at eachother had always made Alec feel better even if he had never hoped or expected to see that look directed at him.

"If you tell me, honestly, that you don't want to talk about it further I will walk out that door and never bother you again." Warlock Bane told him.

Alec's breath hitched and suddenly his vision tunneled and he couldn't breath and Alec was vaguly aware that there were hands gripping his upper arms and a voice calling the name James but his name wasn't James and Alec still couldn't breath.

\-------

"Alexander!" Magnus shouted when James wasn't getting a response and it was worth a shot.

James started to calm down and Magnus continued to hold the man in his arms.

James twisted a little to look up at him, eyes shiny and wet and Magnus realized that James was frightened, of what Magnus didn't know but he wondered how many people had cared about him when he'd still been with his family and thinking about the flinch when he had first reached out to the man when he had redone the wards Magnus realized that there probably hadn't been any one since and he could understand how frightening it was to have something you wanted so badly but was sure you'd never be able to have it safely.

Magnus let his hand caress James' cheek and then he was pulling the man closer, "Let me give you the Stars." Magnus whispered against James' lips.

"Please." James whispered and pushed up just enough to connect their lips and then there were a thousand sparkling lights surrounding them in the infirmery and James was reaching up to tangle his hands in Magnus' hair and pulling him into kiss after kiss until they finally separated long enough to catch their breaths and then James was diving back in and the lights around them twinkled like the Stars.

\---------

I am so tempted to let this be the end of it but I feel like there needs to be a resolution between Alec and his family. So there may be a couple more Chapters.


	10. Boytoy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Ragnor Fell wants to meet Magnus' Boytoy

Summary: Ragnor Fell wants to meet Magnus' Boytoy

\-----

"So, Ragnor heard what you did." Catarina teased Magnus.

Magnus rolled his eyes, "Everybody heard about it because Isabelle can't keep her romantic mouth shut."

Catarina laughed, "True, but you should have seen the way your Shadowhunter blushed when we walked in, I thought he would have a heart attack right there and then, and the look on Inquistor Herondale's face, I'd have frozen the breath in her lungs if she tried to hurt that boy just for giving me that memory."

Magnus' lips pressed together tightly, he hadn't wanted to advertise their relationship before James was comfortable with that, if the man ever was and hardly two minutes after the Shadowhunter had kissed him in walked Herondale, Isabelle, Catarina, Miss Branwell, Maryse Lightwood, and her husband.

James had stopped breathing for a moment and Magnus had thought he was having another panic attack and then Maryse was smiling at them and stopping Herondale with her hand on the other woman's.

Magnus had been shocked but Catarina had been staring at the man in Magnus' arms who was watching the interaction in surprise and an old longing and want.

"As of an hour ago, Inquistor Herondale, there is nothing you can object to." Maryse Lightwood had said before she smiled at the two in the bed, "Do you think you can do something about the lights, Warlock Bane?"

She'd poked lightly at one of the twinkling blue balls of light that had surrounded them in the Infirmary.

"I like them." James had whispered timidly, letting one of them rest in his palm, not looking at anything else.

Magnus had smiled and turned the Infirmary lights off instead and let most of the balls of light rise above their heads except for a handful of smaller ones.

"Fine." Maryse had said with a sad little smile while Isabelle and Miss Branwell sighed softly.

Magnus had rolled his eyes and tightened his arms around James as Catarina sat on the bed before them and asked James a few follow up questions before Inqusitor Herondale began briefing James on his mission report.

"So, what is Ragnor saying?" Magnus asked.

"He wants to meet your boy, his word not mine." Catarina assured as Magnus glared lightly at her.

"When?" 

"He's already at the Institute." Catarina informed him.

"WHAT?!" Magnus yelled, "Let's go!" 

Magnus summoned a portal and was rushing throught it, Catarina following with a chuckle.

\--------

Alec grinned and threw himself at his friend, who caught him and swung him in a circle, "Hello, Demon's Bane." The man said as he set him on the ground again, "You're getting too tall for that."

"Never!" Alec said, offended, he knew that Ragnor would never stop letting him do it, no matter how tall he got.

"So, what are you doing here?" Ragnor asked as they walked to the lunch room.

"Assignment." Alec told him with a shrug.

"You're back with the Clave then?" Ragnor asked, "I recall a vow to never return."

"I'm not really with the Clave." Alec assured the Warlock, "I'm contracted the same way Warlocks are but since I am still a Shadowhunter I have to aide by their Laws when I'm at an Institute."

"You should have told me in one of your messages."

"Hey, you're the one that said you were going to vanish for a while, I could have stopped writing all together." Alec told him.

"Don't you dare, you brat." Ragnor growled, "I'd worry too much and then I'd have to come out of hiding to find out what trouble you'd gotten yourself into this time."

Alec grinned at the man, "At least I wasn't dragged to Edom." He teased.

"Haha, laugh it up, brat, I managed to survive." Ragnor grumbled.

"Barely, you were running from a pack mid-level demons when I finally found a Warlock that would send me there." Alec reminded him.

"And I can never repay you for your help." Ragnor's eyes softened as he looked at the young man.

Alec had only been fourteen when they had met, sixteen when he had travelled to the Hell Realms to rescue Ragnor from his own stupidity. Alec had nearly lost his hand there but instead, due to an incedent with one of the worse Greater Demons, he now couldn't handle being healed by Warlocks who had been created by Greater Demons, it made everything Alec did more risky because the Clave prefered to imploy Greater Demon children.

Alec smiled at Ragnor as he handed him a cup of coffee, Ragnor had been the first person to ask him what his name was when he was fifteen and Alec had hesitated a moment too long and then Ragnor was smiling at him and summoning a book, 'Let's find you a new one, then.' He had said and offered the last name of an old friend long dead.

Alec had taken it and been grateful and he'd realized that maybe he had a new father figure in Ragnor, though he would never, ever tell the Warlock that, he'd be embarassed.

A portal drew their attention and Alec turned to it as Ragnor fell into a defensive stance.

"It's Warlock Bane," Alec said, "He's the only one that can portal into the institute."

"Ah." Ragnor said, "He must have heard I wanted to meet his new boytoy."

Alec looked at Ragnor and then burst into laughter as Magnus and Catarina stepped into the room, the other Shadowhunters dropping their defensive stances to stare in shock at Alec's laughter.

\-------

Magnus entered the Institute's lunch room and heard a laugh he hadn't heard before and his gaze passed Ragnor, who was smiling fondly at the laughing man, to land on James, who was using a table to keep himself standing as he kept laughing and then his butt was on the floor as he continued his now gasping laughter.

James started hiccupping, still chuckling a little.

"You alright there, brat?" Ragnor asked and Magnus glared at him but the man didn't notice.

"Yeah, I'm," James gave a little giggle, "I'm good, By the Angel." James forced himself to take a few deep breaths and wiped the tears from his eyes, "I think I needed that, thanks, Rag-man."

"No!" Ragnor shouted, "You promised never to call men that again."

"I did not." James said, "You asked and I hummed without commitment."

Ragnor scowled, "Brat." He muttered, fondly.

"You two know eachother?" Catarina asked because Magnus was just staring at James as he picked himself up from the floor.

"Yeah, this kid has been bugging me for nearly six years now." Ragnor said, "He's responsible for several years of my life lost."

James rolled his eyes, "And how many did I lose to your shenanagans?" 

Ragnor opened his mouth and then closed it before opening it again, "Entirely too many, you should never have done half of the things you did to help me."

James shrugged, "I wouldn't have been safe either way, I may have even been safer with you around. Shadowhunters on their own don't last very long."

"Right." Ragnor clapped his hands together and looked at Magnus, "Now where is this boytoy of yours?"

And then James was laughing again and Ragnor turned to stare at him and then looked back at Magnus, "Why do I have a feeling that he's going to do that everytime I say that?"

"Sorry...sorry." James muttered, "I'm good, I'm done now, sorry."

"No apologies necessary." Magnus assured the Shadowhunter, "But an explination perhaps is due."

James chuckled once more before smiling at Ragnor, "I'm the..." James giggled, "Boytoy."

"No, absolutely not!" Ragnor shouted and turned to glare at Magnus, "How could you?! He's, he's so young and... and..."

"Hey, Rag-man." James said and placed his hand on Ragnor's shoulder.

\-----

Ragnor looked at the hand on his shoulder, by the Hell Realms, how many times had the Brat put his hand there to silence him, gain attention, or reassure him that he was there, Ragnor could see the ring around the wrist where the Brat had almost lost his hand in Edom and the long line that travelled up his arm hidden by his shirt sleeve, an old scar that Ragnor only recognised from fresh corpses who had used that method to die, Ragnor had never asked about the Scars and the Brat had never offered but Ragnor had alwas subtly check for new ones that could not be explained by the Brat's stories, he had never found any, for which he was grateful.

"Don't, he give me my Stars." The Brat told him and Ragnor felt his breath catch.

The Stars, damn it, the one thing that meant he couldn't protest, the Brat and those Gas balls in the Bloody sky. 

Ragnor sighed and placed his hands on The Brat's shoulders, "You sure?"

The Brat smiled, "Ask anyone, he made them with Magic the second time."

Ragnor searched The Brat's eyes and nodded and then drew the young man into his arms, "Alright, but the moment he doesn't give you Stars then I'm going to kick his butt."

The Brat returned the hug tightly and fisted his hands in the back of his shirt as he buried his face in Ragnor's neck before he pulled back, "I don't think I'll ever lose the Stars he gives me."

"Good." Ragnor pulled away to glare at Magnus, "You hurt him and you'll wish for Edom."

Magnus nodded, "I don't plan on hurting him, Cabbage."

The Brat choked on a laugh as Magnus continued.

"But if I do you have the right to send me to Edom, and I'll let you." Magnus nodded.

Ragnor nodded shortly and glared at The Brat, "Don't even think about it, Brat."

The Brat just grinned up at him.

\------


	11. A good man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Izzy and Alec talk

Summary:

\------

Alec watched Magnus and Ragnor interact, he'd never really been around Ragnor with other people, Ragnor hadn't wanted to put Alec in danger and Alec hadn't wanted to draw Ragnor to the Clave's attention so they had mostly hung out in secret or when Alec was desparatly in need of help or a safe place to sleep. Ragnor had given him an open invitation in the form of a small tattoo of a Cabbage on his ankle that allowed him to enter his wards or would pull him to them if his heart stopped for a minute straight when the Warlock had found out that Alec was homeless and sleeping where ever he could, mostly on roofs or under bushes. 

Ragnor had somehow managed to be a better parent with just that simple offer than his own parents, he had never sent him away, had never asked about his scars or wounds, just patched him up and offered an ear to listen.

Alec had taken a risk while they were fighting their was from Edom, he had told Ragnor he was gay and he had flinched harshly when the man had pulled him into a hug and then Alec had been sobbing and Ragnor had just held him and murmured that he was proud of him for telling him and that he was still welcome to his place.

Alec had clutched the man's raggedy and torn shirt until he had cried himself to sleep and Ragnor had still been holding him when he woke and Alec had stuttered and apologised and Ragnor had only smiled and said they should get moving and that had been the end of it and they had continued their escape.

Alec shook his head.

"Deep thoughts?" Isabelle asked as she sat next to him.

Alec stared at her, "Yeah, a few."

"Want to talk?" She offered.

Alec looked at his... his bo-, no, his... his... his Magnus, "No."

Isabelle bit her lip, "Okay." She forced herself to say.

Alec looked at her again, "You...uh, you want to talk?"

"Yeah, I miss my brother." Isabelle said.

"Max should be back soon."

Isabelle shook her head, "My older brother."

Alec's breath caught.

"I don't know why he left, sometimes I think it was the way I yelled at him for trying to protect me from the realities of being a Shadowhunter, he didn't even say goodbye or leave a note, he was just gone, all his things, the presents I gave him, it was like he never existed."

Alec stared at her, he hadn't realised that Isabelle might feel that way, truthfully he had forgotten about the fight they had had two days before he had told his parents about the cute boy in his class and that she hadn't spoken to him since, she'd told him to come back when he was ready to let her train like a big girl and then Alec had messed up with trusting his parents and then he'd tried to fix it by dying and then he had left and never looked back, never thought about how his little sister might blame herself.

"I'm sorry." Alec offered, "i'm sure it had nothing to do with you."

"How do you know?" Isabelle wiped at her eyes.

Alec shrugged, "Sometimes there are things that happen in life ad realizations that can't be put aside."

Isabelle stared at him intently.

"Even if he came back, Isabelle, he's not the boy you knew, that boy is dead, he probably died long ago, you expect to find a little boy that was scared and desparate enough to run away and take his chances on the streets because it was somehow better than here," Alec shook his head, "That boy is long gone."

\-----------

Izzy watched James leave and realized that he was right, she was expecting her brother to be the same as when he had left, but it had been ten years, nearly eleven, her brother wasn't a scared little boy anymore, he was a young man that had been tried and tested, even if James never admitted to being her brother she was proud to believe him to be the brother that had gone.

James would be a good brother, he was certainly a good man.


	12. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Izzy comes out and so does Alec.

Summary: Izzy comes out and so does Alec.

\------

Alec wasn't sure why Isabelle had asked him to be here but she had insisted and had even allowed him to bring Magnus, Magnus who had his hand in his and would glance at him with a small smile, which Alec would return shyly.

Alec took a steadying breath when his parents entered the room followed by Jace, Clary, and Lydia.

"So, you are all probably wondering why I've brought you here." Isabelle began, "Well, I have something to tell you, it's difficult and I... I don't know how some of you are going to take it but, but I hope you'll still love me." Here she glanced at Maryse and Robert while Jace and Lydia smiled encouragingly, "So..., I'm, I love people based on who they are not what they are, and I'm in love with someone, she's female."

Alec felt his world tilt and he tensed his whole body as he looked from Isabelle to his parents. His gaze landed on his mother first and she looked half ready to start crying but not angry crying, her face was more sad than anything else and Alec realized that, perhaps she was remembering a younger him sobbing and begging her to help make him right and the anger she had turned on him and the words she had snarled at him and what his solution had been.

And then Alec looked at his father and was moving before he registered the intent behind that look.

Without flinching Alec twisted his father's arm and threw him onto the ground, planting his foot on the man's throat just before the hit he intended for Isabelle landed.

"Get the hell off of me!" The man snarled, shoving at Alec's foot.

"No, thanks." Alec returned, turning to look at a dumbfounded Isabelle, "You good?"

Isabelle nodded as she stared at Alec and their mother wrapped her in her arms and whispered the things Alec had never even hoped to hear her say and now she said them to his sister and Alec was glad that his mother had at least learned something from his disappearance, even if his father hadn't.

Alec looked down at the man, no longer did he wonder about the disappointment he'd seen in the man's eyes when he'd been in the Infirmary all those years ago, the hatred and anger in the man's eyes as he stared at Isabelle told Alec that he had wished he had died, that at ten years old he had succeeded in ending his own life, the man's reasons didn't matter, they didn't and now neither did he, not to Alec, not to Isabelle and if he touched a hair on Max's head for any reason Alec would drag him down to Edom and convince Asmodeus that he cared so much about the man that the Greater demon would enjoy tearing him apart, the Demon still wanted Alec's head on his wall and Alec took great pleasure in taunting him because he still had Asmodeus' right hand in a jar that he kept safe at Ragnor's, of course Ragnor didn't know who the hand belonged to and Alec would never tell him, as long as Alec had the hand Asmodeus wouldn't be able to reassemble his hand in either the Hell Realms or the Mortal ones.

"Let me up!" The man beneath his boot growled.

"Let him up." Isabelle said softly as she pulled away from Maryse.

Robert picked himself off the ground clumsily and glared at Alec as he brushed passed him to get in Isabelle's face and Alec saw Magnus twist his magic into his hands just in case.

"How dare you do this to us!" The man shouted.

"No." Maryse snarled, "No, I... I can't lose another child because of this!"

The room stilled and Alec stiffened.

Robert stared at his wife, "Don't you dare!"

"Alexander's gone because we couldn't love him like we should have, I won't lose my daughter the way I lost my son!" Maryse shoved Robert away from Isabelle, "I let the Clave's rules and regulations and Valentine's Ideals overrule my love for my children, I told my son that he was not fixable and that he would be better off dead and you just let me!" 

The group gasped and Isabelle let out a sob while Alec tried to get air into his lungs because, oh, Angel, why couldn't they just help him be right, why couldn't they fix him.

"He wasn't, boys like girls and girls like boy and that's the way it will always be, by the Angel's own words." Robert said, "What ever happened to that abomination, he deserved every bit of it, I hope it took him a long time to die."

What little breath Alec had managed to squeeze into his lungs abruptly left and he stared at his father who had hoped he was dead, had died in pain and fear, never to return to the Angel because there was no body to be found and...

"You really hate me that much?" Alec whispered in a small voice.

In the silence that had fallen when Robert finished Alec may as well as shouted it.

Robert turned to glare at Alec and there was no recognition, only anger but his mother stared at him and then let out a loud sob and looked like she wanted to pull him into a hug and apologize for everything she had ever done.

"I don't even know who you are." Robert sneered.

Alec took a breath, he was right, Alec wasn't his son, hadn't been in a long time and Alec was glad.

"I used to be Alexander Lightwood." Alec stared at the man who gasped and stumbled back, "And if you think I'd died begging for my life as you no doubt expected of the poor little fag," Alec stalked towards his shaking father, "You have another thing coming, I survived years on the streets, I've fought Demons that would have you pissing yourself and so help you, by the Angel, I will love the man I chose and Heaven help you if you stand in my way Robert Lightwood because if you do I will tear down the wall that seals that Hell Realms and watch the world burn and crumble in the wake of what comes forth."

Alec had continued forward until his Father's back was pressed against the wall and his entire body trembled with fear and Alec was sure the man was one threat away from peeing himself.

"And if you even come near Isabelle for anything other than work, if you mutter a single slur against her or anyone else I will make sure it's your last." Alec promised the man.

Alec stepped back and decided to ignore the puddle the man was now standing in and turned to Magnus who was just staring at him, for a second Alec thought that he had ruined everything, he had carefully maintained a mask of usefulness but nothing that would make the Clave fear him, he didn't have proper ties after all and was, by his very existence, dangerous so Alec had made sure that they never knew that he had lasted almost three months in the Hell Realms, only a little worse for wear with a Warlock, or that he had fought and won against Asmodeus and had a souvenir from said Demon and so many other things he knew would make the Clave nervous, and then Magnus was reaching to drag him close.

"That was hot." And then Magnus was kissing him like he needed him to breath and Alec was clutching him just as tightly.

Alec knew he was going to have to deal with his revelation later, his mother and sister watching him get the life kissed out of him and his father standing in his own mess but none of that was as important as Magnus and the Stars he was being given by the Warlock.


	13. Catharsis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Alec and Magnus talk

Summary: Magnus and Alec talk 

\---------

"So..." Magnus began, "I doubt that that was how you wanted to tell them." 

James/Alexander looked at him as they walked up the stairs to Magnus' Loft, James/Alexander had been nervous to stay at the Institute following his revelation and Magnus had offered his home to his boyfriend despite the looks his mother and sister had given him.

Jace had looked dumbfounded and Clary delighted, Miss Baranwell looked like she was regretting her decision to tie herself to the Lightwood family by loving Isabelle, but she had still let the woman take her hand and they had all ignored Robert as he stood in his puddle of humiliation.

"I didn't." James/Alexander said and Magnus was going to have to figure out which the man preferred, "I mean I didn't want to tell them at all... I... I just..."

James/Alexander collapsed onto the couch and threw a hand over his eyes.

"I understand." Magnus said.

"Do you, can you?" James/Alexander asked, "I tried to kill myself at ten years old, Magnus! I tried to fix myself by dying because my parents said they couldn't fix me, that I was too broken inside to be right. Do you know what I did to get them to say that, to look at me and tell me I wasn't right inside?"

Magnus stumbled and fell into the couch at Alexander's feet, the man sitting up to look into Magnus' eyes.

"I told them... my specific words were 'Daniel is cute, isn't he, mother?' and then my mother was squeezing my shoulder tightly and marching me home and she yelled at me for hours after and said I was wrong and when I asked her to help make me right she told me that it was impossible, that people like me should die." Alexander said in a rush and Magnus' breath caught as Alexander pushed up his sleeves, "I tried, I tried to fix it the only way I knew how and Hodge Starkweather found me, took me to the Infirmary and they patched me up and called my parents. I got another lecture on embarrassing the family name from my mother while my father sat there glaring at me."

Magnus wanted to hold the man before him but was unsure if Alexander would allow the touch at the moment, even still his body twitched with the want.

"I just... I don't... Why?" Alexander asked and Magnus was pulling the breaking man into his arms and holding him as he just began to cry, whispering 'Why' over and over.

\-------

"Nothing is wrong with you, everything is just the way you're meant to be, you're lovely and I adore you." Alec heard Magnus whisper into his hair again and again as he rocked them back and forth on the couch, Magnus pressed kisses into his hair and kept a steady stream of reassurances and Alec let them reach into his very being and settle there, let them drown out the words of hate and ugliness that had been there for ten long years and he let Magnus hold him like Ragnor had once held him following his second coming out.

Alec sniffled and shifted but didn't pull away, "I... thank you for letting me..."

Magnus smiled down at Alec, "If I get to hold you my day is complete."

Alec blushed and then something landed on his lap and he jumped, landing on his butt on the ground.

"CHAIRMAN!" Magnus shouted catching the cat before he could escape, "I'm sorry, it's been a long few weeks and I've been worried about you so, Chairman must be feeling left out."

Alec smiled, "It was just surprising, I had a cat once."

Alec reached out to take the tiny thing.

"Did you?" Magnus asked, handing the cat over.

"Yeah, it was my first year away from home and well, there was this tiny thing and well, I had always wanted a pet but my mother said no, you know, so, I just started feeding it whenever I could." Alec smiled at the cat and Magnus was hardly breathing as Alec spoke, "I probably shouldn't have because I could barely feed myself but I just couldn't leave him, he used to bring me dead birds and a couple rats, I couldn't really do much with the birds, they were too small but I ate the rats, we ate good in those days." 

Alec rubbed his face against the Chairman's and Magnus opened his mouth to warn him not to but the cat allowed it much to Magnus' surprise.

"Yes, we did." Alec cooed, "And then one day he was gone, and I had no idea what happened to him." Alec shrugged, as he cuddled the cat in his arms.

Alec frowned as he felt something.

"What is it?" Magnus asked.

"Nothing, I just, my cat had this scar, he got it when we got chased from our nest by a couple of Shax, I killed them but we still had to move." Alec explained.

"Oh?"

"Yeah." Alec lifted the cat up and then looked at Magnus, "Where did you get Chairman?"

"I rescued him about ten years ago." Magnus said slowly.

Alec laughed, "You stole my cat!" 

"Apparently, although it does explain why he is so insistent on escaping." Magnus mused, "I wonder if he was trying to take me to you?"

Alec smiled, "I'm glad you found him and he wasn't dead."

"Me too, I'm sorry I stole your cat." Magnus pressed a kiss to Alec's head, "I'm not nearly so appreciative when he brings me dead things, just... might I ask you not to eat any of them, who knows where they have been."

Alec raised an eyebrow, "It's been years since I ate anything that wasn't already made or cooked, although I did get partial to crickets."

Magnus shuddered and Alec let out a laugh.

"You're going to enjoy that aren't you?" Magnus asked.

"Yep, wait till you see my collection." Alec grinned.

"Oh?"

"I'm a lot more dangerous than I let the Clave believe." Alec shrugged, "I have a few huge enemies but nothing too bad."

"We'll be quite the pair then." Magnus smiled.

Alec stared up at Magnus with stars in his eyes, "I guess we will."

\-----------


	14. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Izzy and Maryse

Summary: Izzy and Maryse 

\------

Isabelle was staring at him and Alec tried not to shift uncomfortably.

"Can I help you?" Alec finally asked with a sigh.

Isabelle opened her mouth and then closed it without a word before trying again, "Were they really that bad to you?"

Alec rolled his eyes, "Yeah, they were, I made sure that you never saw and tried to make up for what they never gave me."

"You did watch me a lot before you vanished and I don't remember mother ever reading me stories before bed." Isabelle said slowly, "At least not until after you were gone and I asked for a story, mother obliged and when Jace arrived she had him join us."

Alec tried not to let that hurt him, that it was only after he had gone that his mother had tried to be a better parent but it did, it hurt, it hurt so much, it really did.

"Well, at least some good came out of me leaving." Alec forced out.

Isabelle looked horrified, "I didn't mean, I... I..., I'm a bad sister." Isabelle sadi as she dropped her head in her hands.

Alec chuckled a little, "Well, considering I essentually abandoned you to people I knew weren't good people, I'd say I'm not doing to great in the big brother deparatment."

"But they weren't bad with me." Isabelle said.

"I didn't know they'd clean up their act, Isabelle, and I still left knowing that."

"You had to." Isabelle said, "You had to, right?"

Alec smiled a little sadly, "Yeah, I had to, for me, for my life's sake."

Isabelle stared at Alec and wondered what that sad little smile meant.

"Alexnader." Their mother began as she entered the room.

"No." Alec said.

"Pardon?" Maryse said, confused.

Alec looked her in the eye, "You don't get to call me that, only Magnus gets to call me that and never here."

Maryse looked like she wanted to argue but as she looked at her son she decided not to, "James then."

Alec stared at her for a moment, "Not that either, you get to call me Mr. Leander and nothing else, I'm not your son and as far as I'm concerned we're not family. You lost that right when you told me I should die."

Maryse looked close to tears and by the end of Alec's sentence had to wipe a tear from her cheek and take a deep breath before nodding, "Very well, Mr. Leander."

\-------

"What was it you wanted, mom?" Izzy asked in the awkward silence that had fallen between them.

She wondered what her mother had expected, she had run her oldest son off and what, she expected him to just forgive her? Izzy couldn't see that happening, at least not anytime soon, what Izzy didn't know was that her older brother hadn't cared much to even think about his mother or father and what they expected in a long time, as far as Alec was concerned he was an orphan and what Maryse and Robert Lightwoood thought wasn't a concern of his.

"Warlock Bane is here for you."

James smiled happily at the mention and nodded.

"Go get your man, James." Izzy teased.

James looked at her, "I already have my man."

Izzy let out a laugh as her brother left leaving her alone with her mother.

"Mom?" Izzy asked as she looked at her mother, who had watched James leave with sorrow in her eyes.

"Nothing, Isabelle." Her mother forced a smile.

"Please don't lie to me." Izzy asked, "I know it probably hurts for him to brush you off but you did this to yourself."

Her mother took a deep, shaky breath and nodded, "I know, I know I did and I have to live with that and I will and he will probably never let me tell him how glad I am that he's alive."

"He probably wouldn't believe you if you did tell him, you told him he should be dead, mom! He was young, much too young to hear those words from his parents, those words should never be said to a child from anyone and you said them to your son, I can't really blame him."

"Neither do I." Her mother whispered.

"Mom?" Izzy asked after a moment, "He said he had to leave. He said he had to for his life's sake... I... what did he mean?"

Her mother looked at her and Izzy swore she stopped breathing for a moment, "He was right, Isabelle, buut I won't tell you why, that... that is something that I can't... I can't tell you, not if Mr. Leander does not reveal it to you, I lost that right when I drove him to that end."

Izzy stared at her mother, she wanted to know but she respected her mother's opinion and knew that her mother was right, she had no right to tell Izzy what the final straw was that drove her brother to run away from them and if she truly wanted to know she'd seek out James, but perhaps her mother knew that she would not, some hurts were too deep to risk reopening and Izzy had a feeling that this was one of those hurts.

\---------


	15. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Confessions

Summary: Confessions

\--------------

"What are you doing?" Magnus asked curiously as he watched Alexander move around the Loft.

"Huh?" Alexander asked, stopping to look at him.

"You, you're darting around like... like..." Magnus trailed off ash e realized that Alexander was poking around, likely looking for weaknesses and putting blankets in places that Magnus knew The Chairman liked to nap and Magnus had thought about moving the nest of blankets that had somehow appeared under his bed but had wondered why it was there and had decided to ask Alexander before doing anything about the little nests he had been finding everywhere.

"Like what?" Alexander asked, a fearful look appearing on his face as his eyes darted from Magnus to the door.

"Oh, darling, I didn't realize." Magnus smiled.

"Realize what?" Alexander asked as he shifted.

"You're making this your home." Magnus reached out, "I had been wondering about the blankets."

"I'm sorry... you can, I just..."

"It's alright, Darling, they can stay, but can you tell me why Under the bed?"

"It's warmer at night." Alexander said softly as he stepped into Magnus' arms and they sat on the couch together, "It was more dangerous to be out in the open at night and it wasn't safer to sleep during the day, when I tucked myself under stuff, like bushes or old crates and things it was more likely that I'd be overlooked and I'd get more sleep before having to move on and during the winter it was better to have anything between you and the biting cold, you know?" Alexander shrugged a little, "I'd get it if you... if you'd rather I didn't... didn't do the thing."

"Oh, Alexander, I'd rather have you sleep in my arms, and if that means sleeping under the bed, well, I can put a mattress there too." Magnus told the man in his arms.

\-------

"You... you'd want to sleep in my nest?" Alec asked, surprised, he never thought someone would want to sleep with him where he slept, it was weird, the only reason he'd slept on the bed that first night at the Institute was because he'd been too exhausted to make a nest under it, it was always a tight fit under Institute beds but Alec actually mostly liked that part, it felt safer that way.

"Of course, if you would allow, I understand if you don't." Magnus assured him.

"I'd... I think I'd like that, I mean I want... I want to try, I never shared before except with Rag-man while we were in Edom."

Magnus stiffened, "Edom?"

"Yeah, didn't Ragnor tell you?" Alec asked, he'd been sure that Magnus was one of the people Ragnor would share the story with, then again, maybe not, Alec wasn't quite sure of their dynamic, they treated and teased each other like Alec had imagined he might have treated a brother but, well, Alec couldn't guess how he'd actually treat a brother.

"No, I imagine he'd have been too embarassed."

"I suppose."

"Do you want to tell me?" Magnus asked.

Alec looked at Magnus and hesitated.

"If you don't wish to, I understand, Darling." Magnus told him gently.

"I want to... but... I'm... I did things, I know some of it frightened Ragnor." Alec pulled away a little and put space between them.

"Alexander, I can't promise that I won't be scared, especially if you were in danger, I care deeply for you and Ragnor as well, I have done some things that frightened my friends as well, I can however promise that my feelings for you will not change." Magnus assured Alec.

"How can you be so sure?" Alec asked, looking at Magnus, a hopeful glint in his eyes.

"Oh, Darling, because I love you." Magnus whispered as he caressed Alec's cheek.

"Wha-" Alec startled and stared into Magnus' green-gold catlike eyes, the first time Alec had seen them he had flinched, a different set flashing from his memories before Alec had managed to see the difference, where one had been cold and full of malice and promises of pain and death Magnus' held only understanding, hints of fear and hurt and the biggest difference, love. 

It had taken a week to convince Magnus that Alec had only been startled by the sudden Glamour drop and that he really did love his eyes, that they were as beautiful as the rest of him and if Alec focused on the feelings that shone within those catlike eyes rather than the eyes themselves, well, no one had to know that.

"You love me?" Alec whispered.

"I do. I really do." Magnus answered.

"I... I think I might love you too." Alec told Magnus, "I mean... I like the way you make me feel, I feel safe and I never want you to go away and I'm... I never wanted to stay anywhere before, I liked moving all around the world..." Alec looked away and Magnus' eyes as they started to fill with tears, "I want to stay with you."

Magnus sniffled.

Alec's eyes darted to Magnus, "Oh, no, what... what did I do... what did I say wrong?"

"Nothing, Darling, that was the most beautiful thing any one has ever said to me." Magnus assured Alec.

Alec blushed, "You're not.... you're not just saying that?"

"No, Alexander, in all my years no one has ever wanted to stay, noot for long anyway." Magnus shrugged.

"I do, I... I don't think we should get married, not yet... but... um... maybe in a few years... I migh want to take your... share your name?" Alec asked.

"Engaged to be engaged?" Magnus teased jokingly.

"Yeah." Alec breathed as he stared at Magnus' smile.

Magnus looked startled but softened around his eyes, "Yeah." He answered.

Magnus waved his hand and from his magic formed a ring, it was a solidification of his magic and so it glowed a soft blue in pulses as the power within it danced inside.

"Mundanes have come up with the idea of Promise Rings, an engaged to be engaged type thing." Magnus said as the ring came to rest on his palm, "Alexander, I give you this ring as a promise that I will take no other into my heart and my life as I have you, made from my magic, I offer you all the protection it can offer you and all I have to offer you." Magnus took Alec's hand and looked into Alec's eyes, "Do you accept?"

Alec nodded, "Yeah."

Magnus smiled and slid the ring onto Alec's finger where it tightened to a proper size and pulsed warmly with the power it was created with.

Alec curled his hands around Magnus', "I can't... I can't make a ring but I can... I can promise that I will love no other as I love you, Nephilim only love once in their lives, and I may be a poor excuse for a Shadowhunter but I am still a Nephilim, my heart will have no other but you."

Alec leaned forward to press a small kis to Magnus' lips and Magnus deepened it and as he often did when he kissed Alec lost hold on his magic and little balls of light filled the Loft, twinkling like starlight.

\---------

I was planning on having Alec actually tell Magnus about Edom but got sidetracked by Scmoop and love confessions... Oppsie-doopsie.


	16. Edom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Alec talks about Edom

Summary: Alec talks about Edom

\---------

"I have to admit, this is quite lovely." Magnus murmured as Alec rested his head on his chest.

They were curled up under the bed, warm and fluffy blankets wrapped around them, the bedclothes on the made up bed draping to the floor, tiny blue lights giving a soft glow to their cocoon.

"Yeah?" Alec asked.

Magnus smiled down at Alec, "Yes, cozy."

Alec smiled and somehow managed to cuddle closer, "Do you really want to hear about Edom?"

"If you wish to tell about it." Magnus offered, "I'll listen to whatever you wish to tell me whenever you wish to tell me."

"I want you to know but..."

"Take your time, Darling."

Alec nodded and there was a long silence as Alec took Magnus' hand in his and interlaced their fingers over Magnus' chest.

"I met Ragnor when I was fourteen, I was in Colorado, don't remember the town but there was this drunken green man picking a fight with a demon. I didn't really hold to the whole Shadowhunters are better, not even before I ran away, so, I helped him and he managed to help a little, mostly distaracting the thing while I got the killing hits in and then, once it was over he'd stumbled over to me, mumbled a thanks and passed out." Alec chuckled a little, "I honestly didn't know what to do with that so I dragged him to my nest and let him sleep it off, I was still worried about being sent back to my parents so I was gone as soon as he started coming around, headed down towards Texas. Ended up running into The green Warlock a few weeks later and then again after that, eventually I learned his name, Ragnor Fell, and when I was fifteen he helped me find a new name, he was the first person to ask me for one, it may have taken him a year but well, I never did stick around for him to get more than a few words out."

Alec took a breath and Magnus conjured a glass of water which Alec drank from before continuing, "I don't know what he did but someone really didn't like it and he was sent to Edom, by that time he'd decided that he was going to keep an eye on me and every few months we'd meet up, he'd never missed a meeting without sending me a note telling me why so I knew something was up. It took me months to track the person that did it and even longer to find someone that would send me to Edom."

Magnus started to stroke Alec's back in a calming manner.

"Edom is strange, it's one of the deeper Hell Realms, the colors are almost muted, like everything is washed out, everything but the Demons, they are frightening and horrible in the mundane world, here, but in the Hell Realms they are worse and more dangerous." Alec took a shaky breath and Magnus pressed a light kiss to Alec's hair and squeezed him a little closer, "I managed to track Ragnor's trail, not that he was subtle or anything but I ... time is different in the Realms, longer, shorter, we spent three months trying to get out, three months on this side, on the other side it was more like six. Finding him was easy, getting out was the hard part, not only did we attract everything rom lesser Demons to higher Demons but we... we were descovered by Greater Demons too."

Alec shivered remembering the First Greater Demon in the Hell Realms, in their world the Demons looked like people, some had horns or other markers but in the Hell Realms they were monsterous, mortals would describe them as horned cloven hooved beings that stood hunched and blackened as though they had been burned, but they did not look like that in their home Realm.

"The first one we managed to hide from, we were not so fortunate with the second encounter. Magic does not work the same in the Hell Realms, it's like the Realms drain it, Ragnor managed to defend himself but it had little effect on the Demon. They don't actually die there, if you manage a killing blow they disappate but they can reform, when they are banished in their Realm of Authority it happens quickly, they always reform in their own Realm, though many wander the Hell Realms looking to find new followers I guess." Alec shrugged a little and took another drink and pllayed with Magnus' fingers until Magnus took his hand in his and held it.

"If you need to stop..."

Alec shook his head, "I don't think I'd finish if I stopped now."

"Alright." Magnus told him.

Alec took a deep breath, "Most of the time it was easy enough to handle the Demons, even most of the Greater ones got easy to handle, except one. I... they have a picture in the databanks of him and I... I couldn't help looking him up when I got back, here he usually appears with pale skin, almost like snow, his hair is dark and... his eyes are the same in both Realms." Alec's fingers tightened on Magnus' hand, "Do you remember the day you lost your hold on your Glamour?"

"Yes." Magnus frowned, wondering where Alec was going with this.

"I flinched, I know it hurt you, and I know that you're... the first time I saw eyes like yours I was in Edom and they were set in a Monsterous face and they were so cold and hateful and it took me a moment to remember that I was not there, that they were not the same and I... I'm sorry." Alec whispered.

"You encountered Asmodeus." Magnus said, it was not a question.

"I only learned his name after we were back. Most people never know what a Demon really looks like, you know, some mundanes can see past the image that shields them when they are in this Realm but no Nephilim I have ever known or heard of has ever been able to see one, at least and lived to describe them. Asmodeus was...there is no other word but monsterous, he was large, frighteningly so and most would expect him to be dark but... it was almost as though light was leaking from him, it was blinding, his hands were claws and his feet were knarled and twisted but not hooved, his eyes were catlike and yellow-green..."

"Like mine." Magnus whispered, "Oh, Alexander."

"They weren't like yours, his were cold and horrible, they spoke of future pain and enevitable death," Alec shifted to look up at Magnus for the first time since he'd begun, "Yours, yours speak of love and laughter and hope and future kisses and everything that is beautiful and wonderful."

Magnus hid his face in Alec's hair and breathed deeply.

"Are... did I say something wrong?" Alec asked.

"No, you, thank you, Darling." Magnus whispered and pressed another kiss to Alec's hairline.

Alec settled back, his ear over Magnus' heart, listening to the rhythmic beating.

"Fighting Asmodeus was something we should not have risked but he blocked our way out, trying to find another way would have taken months more and I was... I was weakening, Ragnor was barely able to stand and any longer and I knew we would die there. I... I lighted my Sereph blade, for the first time since I'd gotten there, I knew it would attrack more Demons and Asmodeus seemed to follow it's path, almost like he remembered... I have never fought something with matching skill, not even when I encountered Asmodeus in this Realm." Alec shifted so he was on his back and lifted his right arm, dragging his shirtsleeve up to reveal a ring of scaring around his wrist along with a long pale scar the traveled further up his arm.

"I almost lost my hand there." Alec said softly as he traced the scar, "It was barely attatched when we got back, Ragnor managed to get most of the tendons and muscles but sometimes when it's cold I can't feel anything in it." Alec tightened his hand into a fist and then released it, "I suppose that it's fitting, I took his."

"What...?" Magnus asked.

"His right hand." Alec said simply, "Don't tell Ragnor, he's still upset that I even kept the hand."

"You kept it?" Magnus asked.

"Yeah, it makes Asmodeus mad."

Magnus chuckled, "You... you are... I love you, Darling."

Alec looked at Magnus, "You are happy that I make him mad."

Magnus looked at Alec, "I have a confession to make, I... my father is Asmodeus."

"That is why your eyes are similar." Alec said.

"Yes, Darling." 

"We make quite a pair then, both our fathers want us dead, yours to fuel his Realm and mine because I prefer men." Alec whispered softly.

Magnus shifted so that they faced each other in their nest and he caressed Alec's face, "You are brilliant and I love you, you are so strong, my Darling."

"I love you too, and... and so much more that I just can never find the right words for." Alec whispered, "I... can you just hold me for a while?"

"For however long you want me to." Magnus promised as he wrapped his arms around Alec, "For as long as you need me to, my Love."

"I think several people might protest that, if only because it would be awkward going to the bathroom." Alec muttered.

Magnus laughed and the little blue lights twinkled merrily.

"You're not going to bring Asmodeus' hand here are you?"


	17. Hiding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Alec stops hiding

Summary: Alec stops hiding

\----------

"Is there a way to remove hair coloring?" Alec asked Magnus as he looked at his hair in the mirror, fingers pulling the red locks away from his forehead.

"Of course there is, Alexander, might I ask why?"

"I just... I think I might be tired of red hair." Alec sad softly.

Magnus smiled gently, "I can use magic or we can get a product similar to what you'd use to die your hair."

Alec looked at Magnus, "I... maybe magic would be better."

"Alright, now or do you want to wait?" Magnus asked as he watched Alec brush his hair back off of his forehead.

"I don't... I don't know." Alec whispered softly, I've died my hair for so long, what if I don't recognize myself with my natural hair color?"

Magnus walked to stand behind Alec and hooked his chin on the Shadowhunter's shoulder and made sure to catch the other's gaze in the mirror, "No matter what your hair color, your eye color or any other cosmetic thing you do to yourself or have done to yourself, You, Alexander James Leander are the one being in this world that I love above all others."

Alec turned in Magnus' arms to place a gentle kiss on the man's lips, "You, Warlock Bane, are the sappiest man in the whole of the universe."

"As long as I am your sap, Darling."

"Yeah, you are." Alec whispered, "Do it."

Alec squeezed his eyes tightly closed as Magnus' magic curled around his hear and dispersed with the coloring that Alec had added to his hair since he was fifteen, after the magic faded Alec reached up and removed his brown contacts and then looked at a smiling Magnus.

"Still beautiful, Darling." Magnus assured him as he took Alec's face in his and pressed a loving kiss on his love's lips.

\--------


	18. Perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: An Almost Perfect Day

Summary: An almost perfect day.

\--------

Magnus glared at a sheepish looking Simon while Raphael laughed and Alexander stared at them all bewildered.

Perhaps we should start over...

The morning had begun differently than many of the ones that came before, for one Magnus was not in his bed, not an unusual occurrence to be sure but he had not fallen asleep at his desk as per the norm for when he was not tucked into his beautiful red silk sheets, no, on this morning Magnus had woken to the wooden slats that made up the underside of his bed frame, again lately this had not been an unusual occurrence with the addition of his very own Shadowhunter and Nephilim and on this beautiful Morning said Nephilim was still tucked up against his side, a rather unusual phenomenon that Magnus was pleasantly surprised by as he always was when he got Alexander to himself in the wee hours of the morning, it was a delightful way to start his day and Magnus only lamented the fact that it was a rare morning that he woke to such a sight.

"'Morning." The Shadowhunter mumbled into Magnus' chest, for all that Alexander had been taking care of himself for such a long time he was not much of a morning person, reluctant to leave the cocoon of warmth that they created together, or perhaps because Alexander rarely had the luxury of staying abed as dawn took the sky and the Stars fled.

Either way Magnus would not trade even a grumpy, reluctant to wake Alexander for anything, especially when the man clung to him as he did, unwilling to part with the man he always ended up using for a pillow, not even for the promise of coffee and breakfast.

"And what do I owe for this present of the morning?" Magnus asked softly, normally Alexander woke as dawn broke the sky and was heading out for a morning patrol with Isabelle and Clary before they went to the Institute for assignments.

"Lydia told me I should take a few days, especially because Robert's making a stink about you being there all the time, nothing reall rude or vulgur but enough that Lydia is having a hard time justifying you being around, spending time with your lover isn't endearing you to the Clave." Alexander told him as he snuggled closer.

"So, I get you all to myself, do I?" Magnus teased.

"If you... if you want me... I can... I find somewhere else to go." Alexander whispered nervously as he looked up at Magnus, "I know... I know you have clients."

Magnus waved a hand and half a dozen fire messages burst into flame around them, "Not today, today, I just have my wonderful, beautiful partner to entertain."

Alexander blushed and smiled shyly., "Can we cook breakfast together?"

"Of course."

The rest of the morning was spent in the kitchen, soft music playing as Magnus guided Alexander in making a simple breakfast, and they laughed because they had slightly burnt bacon and singed toast and overdone pancakes because they kept getting carried away with kissing each other and they fed each other bites of the meal, relaxing on the balcony, Chairman Meow in Alexander's lap being fed bits of bacon as Magnus teased the Shadowhunter with kisses.

And as mid-day approached Magnus put on a different sort of music and began a life-long commitment of teaching his partner how to dance. The afternoon passed with them pressed tightly together, waltzing about the Loft with heads pressed tight into necks and soft sighs of contentment.

As evening began they parted reluctantly and Magnus leaned forward to press more kisses to Alexander's lips and then everything went wrong as the door burst open and Raphael and his newest Fledgling came crashing into the room.

There was a long pause as Magnus and Alexander parted to stare at the two newcomers and then Simone was darting forward to land a single punch to Magnus' face before Magnus pinned him to a wall across the room.

"How dare you do this to James, Magnus! He loves you so much and ...." Magnus frowned at Sherwin and tuned out the rest of his yells as looked at Alexander in confusion.

"While Simon could have handled that better, I must say I agree, especially with what the young Shadowhunter risk by being with you." Raphael informed Magnus and he leveled a glare at Alexander.

Alexander was frowning as well.

"Although, I must say this one is more your type than James is." Raphael admitted.

And then Magnus realized what was different, yesterday Alexander had asked him to remove the red die he'd been keeping his hair and he had not replaced his contacts and so his beautiful eyes shone brightly and his black hair fell softly around his head instead of being spiked up and out of his eyes.

"Oh." Magnus exclaimed softly, "Well, Sherwin, this is James, he has decided to stop dying his hair and wearing his contacts."

"He dies his hair?!" Sheldon yelled.

"I forgot you've been busy." Magnus said, "May I tell him?"

Alexander nodded.

Magnus nodded in return, "As you know Isabelle once had an older brother who vanished, it turned out that James was Alexander Lightwood and although he has elected not to return to using the Lightwood name he is no longer avoiding his family." 

"Wow." Steven exclaimed softly, "So, Maryse is your mom? That's a bummer man."

Alexander looked at all of them and he seemed lost.

"I guess I own you an apology, Magnus." Samuel said sheepishly, "I'm sorry I punched you and called you names and... I may or may not have invoked several curses on you children and grandchildren.

So, here they were, Magnus glaring at a sheepish Simon with a laughing Raphael in the background with a bewildered Alexander.

Magnus could honestly have done with a much happier ending to their wonderful day but, he thought with a soft sigh, he supposed they could always try again tomorrow and he was going to send a message to everyone they associated with that Alexander was no longer hiding behind a bad dye job and a couple of corrective lenses, as appreciative Magnus was that Sherwin was willing to defend Alexander's honor and heart the Vampire still packed a mean punch and somehow Magnus knew he had his own lover to blame and he did not want to be on the receiving end of any other well-meaning hits for the good of Alexander's heart.

Magnus wondered how soon he could convince Alexander to head to bed with him, the day could only spiral downhill from this moment and the sooner they went to bed the sooner he and Alexander could face tomorrow with one another, hopefully with no surprises as today had ended with.


	19. Strength

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Alec talks to his little brother Max.

Summary: Alec talks to his little brother Max.

\---------

Alec hated dealing with the Clave, but as a what what was essentually the only Free-lance Shadowhunter he kind of had to deal with them, usually his interactions were limited to telling them that he was finished with the assignment he'd been given and that he wanted to move on. 

This time was different, thins time he wanted to stay, not just because of Magnus but he'd formed attatchments to Simon and Lydia and even Isabelle, Clary and Jace were iffy and honestly Isabelle was more iffy than anything else, sister or not Alec just was not as comfortable with the sexy, confident girl who showed more skin than not as he might have been if he'd watched her grow, maybe he still saw her as his vulnerable little sister but that was more his problem than hers and Alec knew that, just like he had almost zero tolerence for being in the same room as his mother and father, mainly his father lately and Alec was seriously considering finding a way to get Asmodeus to torture the man.

Robert Lightwood was very careful to never say a bad words about anyone and Alec was pleased with that and would have gladly have left it there if the man hadn't taken to sneering and glaring at them whenever he saw them, even young Max Lightwood had noticed.

"So, why does my dad hate you?" The boy asked as he followed Alec as he walked towards the office where Inquisitor Herondale waited for him.

Alec shrugged, he had not told the boy that they were brother, wasn't sure what his parents would say or do if he did and as far as Max knew his siblings were Jace and Isabelle, none other.

"He's even being mean to Izzy. I don't like it at all." Max pouted.

"Mean how?" Alec asked, stopping to look at the boy.

"He's ignoring her and sometimes he takes her whip, that's what she uses best." Max told Alec.

Alec frowned, Robert was deliberatly sending Isabelle out without her best weapon? Well, Alec was going to have to handle that.

"Mr. Leander, why do you make my mother cry?" Max asked, tugging on Alec's hand.

Alec stared down at Max and then knelt down so they were at eye level. "I remind your mother of things that she did that were bad, it hurts her heart because she knows there is no forgiving what she did."

"Can't who she hurt forgive her?" Max asked.

"Some hurts are not so easily forgiven or forgotten." Alec informed the child.

"Does it have to do with your arm scars?" Max asked.

Alec stared at the child in surprise, Max, it seemed was more observent that he'd given him credit for, "In a way yes, and in a way no, Maryse has never seen the scars, i do not think she knows of them. But her hurt is related to my scars."

"I've never seen a Shadowhunter with tose type of scars, what Demon gave them to you?"

"My own." Alec said softly.

"I don't understand." Max told Alec.

Alec shook his head and glance towards the office where he should meet with Herondale and then he looked at Max, "Let's go get Ice Cream."

"I thought you had a meeting."

"Yeah, well, I can miss it, I need the sugar." Alec stood and grinned down at his little brother, "Come on."

\-----------------

Alec led Max to sit on one of the park benches, Ice Cream in hand.

"The scars that go up my arms weren't inflicted by any Demon." Alec began.

"Then how did you get them?" Max asked.

"I gave them to myself." Alec said and stared at his Ice Cream.

"Why?" Max asked horrified.

Alec looked at Max, "My parents... my parents were not very kind to me, when I slipped up and mentioned a boy I thoght was cute they did not react well."

"But you couldn't help that, and the Clave is allowing such relationships." Max informed him.

"Yes, now they are, but when I slipped up I was only ten, it was nearly eleven years ago that this happened, Max, and I was scared, my parents told me it was wrong and that it couldn't be righted and that... they told me I was better off dead." Alec whispered, "So, I tried to fix myself the only way I'd been given."

"You tried to kill yourself." Max said, and the boy really was smart.

"I did."

"You failed." Max noted, "Why? I would think that you would plan for anything."

"I was ten, much too young to feel the way I did, that death was the only option left to me, I know that now, I know that when I ran away after trying to end myself that it was really the best thing I could have done. The best thing I ever did for me." Alec told Max.

"Where did you go? An uncle or aunt?"

"No, there was no place for me to go really," Alec chuckled as he glanced around, "I actually ended up here those first couple nights on my own, I'm pretty sure I slept under this bench."

Alec handed Max his Ice Cream and laid down on the ground and checked under the stone bench, letting out a laugh, "I was right."

Max finished his Ice Cream and followed Alec down and Alec pointed to the little A.L. the was carved into the stone.

"I wanted to remind myself that I existed, so, every place I stayed I carved those letters, I could probably find a dozen of them around this city." Alec grinned to himself as he traced the letters, Max doing the same.

"What's the A. for?" Max asked.

"Oh, it's my first name, only Magnus uses it." Alec told the young Shadowhunter.

"Was it hard, being all alone, I think it would be great to work alone." Max grinned at Alec.

"It was, all I really had was my training and my Stele, I didn't even think to take a weapon, it took monts of searching before I found a Sereph Blade in a pawn shop, the owner hadn't a clue what he had, claimed to have found it in an uncle's attic but I managed to bargan a few weeks of my time for the blade and then I was, not safe but better off than I was before." Alec explained, "And the trouble with being on your own is there's no one to watch your back, there are creeps who looked at me in a manor that was unbecoming since I was only ten."

"Did... did you ever go with them?" Max asked, not entirely sure he wanted the answer as they began the trek back to the Institute.

"There were a few times, when I was really hungry, that 'I haven't eaten a real meal in a week' hungry that I thought about it, I thought about how much food I'd be able to get, and how I might be able to kip in a hotel instead of on a rooftop but I knew that I'd never be able to look at myself again if I went with them and let them touch me like that." Alec explained, he wondered perhaps if Max was too young for him to be having such a frank conversation about his life on the streets but Max seemed to be having no trouble understanding anything, so, Alec figured it was, if not alright then intellectually age appropriate, "In all honesty, Max, if I had had another choice to save my own life I would have taken it, but at the time I couldn't see any other way."

Max looked up at Alec and then took his hand and turned it so he could trace the underside of his wrist, along the scra that was the remainder of the horror his parents had inflicted on him.

"I think... I think you might be the strongest Nephilim I've ever met." Max said softly, "I'm not glad your parents sucked, I wished they could have seen how Awesome you were, are, but I think that, maybe if they hadn't sucked you would have never found out how strong you really were, are."

Alec looked down into Max's bright eyes and felt tears fill his own, "I think you may be right, Max, I..."

"You're welcome." Max grinned, "Race you back to the Institute!"

The boy darted off and Alec grinned before following, he'd never thought of the scars as a mark of strength before, to him they had always been a mark of yet another one his failings but maybe, maybe they could become a mark of his strength, his thirst to survive and thrive and be everything his parents had always told him that he would never be.

\-------

So, I am not entirely sure this is developmentally accurate for a Nine year old to be involved in such a conversation but this is what wanted to be written.


	20. Warlocks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Warlocks

Summary: Warlocks.

\----

"Why exactly are we here?" Ragnor asked in a bored voice as he sat on the Magnus' couch, feet on the coffee table.

"Honestly, Ragnor, were you raised in a barn, get your feet off my table." Magnus said, shoving Ragnor's dirty boots off the table.

"You know I was, at least for the first couple years." Ragnor said but let his feet be pushed off.

"When is James due back?" Catarina asked from where she was sitting with Tessa Gray.

"He's hanging out with the Lightwoods, Max convinced them that Alexander needed to have a trip to an amusement park and everybody decided that they had to go." Magnus explained as he summoned drinks for them.

"And you didn't go?" Tessa teased.

"It was a water park."

"More of a reason for you to go and stare at your boyfriend." Catarina smirked at the Warlock.

"As much as I'd love that, I also realized how dangerous for Alexander that would be."

"He's still stuttering and walking into walls when you take of your shirt, eh?" Ragnor chuckled.

Magnus glared at him, "How do you know?"

"The Brat and I talk, he told me about the stairs." 

"Oh?" Tessa asked interestedly.

"It was when we were still newly met." Magnus began with a sigh, knowing the woman would'nt stop until she got the story, "He was thanking me for healing him..."

"That what they are calling it now?" Ragnor asked wiggling his eyebrows."

"Shut up, I asked him to call me Magnus and then he fell down the stairs." Magnus finished, "I still haven't figured out what I did that made him so distracted."

Ragnor felt a smile worm across his face as he watched one of his oldest friends smile softly at the thought of the Shadowhunter he had come to love.

"He said it was your smile." Ragnor told him.

"What?" Magnus asked.

"I remember the letter James wrote me right after he came to New York, I didn't know where he was at the time but finding out when he arrived here was easy enough." Ragnor said as he shifted to lean against the arm of the couch.

"Don't even think about putting your feet on the couch." Magnus said.

"Right, well, the letter was the normal stuff, I didn't even realize until halfway through that the tone was different in the second half, James always tells me about the people he encounters, never names or the color of their features or anything I could find them with but suddenly he was focused on this smile and the way it softened the person's entire face and the way the light reflected a thousand colors within their eyes and well, I think that may have been the first sign that the Brat had been about to lose his heart." Ragnor explained.

Magnus put his hand over his heart, "You really think so?"

"Yes, I know he hurt you that night, Magnus but..."

"The last time he took a risk like that his parents..." Magnus stopped, not sure that Alexander had told Ragnor about his parents.

"They are responsible for the scars up his arms aren't they?" Catarina asked softly.

"They are, the whys I am not prepared to tell you." Magnus explained.

Catarina nodded, "I understand, he revealed something I'm not sure he meant to and I would never break that confidence, even if he didn't have trust issues."

"I really want to meet this boy." Tessa smiled, "It's really hard to find people that you all agree to like and protect."

The other three Warlocks glanced at one another and realized that this was true.

"Any way, James is the reason I called you here." Catarina said.

"Okay, nothing bad, right?" Ragnor asked concerned as Magnus nearly stopped breathing.

Healing magic was not Ragnor's forte and as long as he had been healing and practically raising the Shadowhunter he also knew that there were things that James was very good at hiding. The first time James had shown up after dying his hair Ragnor had almost not recognized the young man and it was only the fact that the boy had pulled him down and behind a shrub right before the Shadowhunter that was lookng for him passed that Ragnor even took a second look at the redhead that had been following him.

"I'm not entirely sure." Catarina told them.

"Start at the beginning, Cat'." Tessa told her softly.

"You know how in London the Institute has the Secret Room?" Catarina asked.

The group straightened. 

The Secret Room was a Room rumored to have been created by the First Warlock, the reasons were not entirely known but every Warlock was informed about the Room and the potential for it to be found by any in need of aid or love that wasn't being provided. Since the Rooms were usually inside Shadowhunter Institutes it was generally found by neglected and very young Shadowhunters, these young beings were collected by the nearest and quickest Warlock who found them new homes and removed their memories from all who knew them. Since most Shadowhunters were not presented to the Clave before being given their first Rune the that net was more often than not only the immediate family that knew of them, it was easy to make them vanish and the children lived relatively normal lives in the Mundane world with their Warlock uncle or aunt that hid them from Demons until their death.

"Every Warlock knows that, Catarina." Tessa said, "Sometimes I still answer the call."

Ragnor nodded, "I still get tingles when I'm near Moscow."

"New York has one." Catarina told them.

"Impossible." Ragnor shouted, "That means..."

After 1850 they had never heard of an Institute that had the Secret Room, all of the Institutes that had it had been built before then and with the New York being built at the turn of the Century near 1900, it was the most recent Institute with a Secret Room, and only the First could build it, the power it took to make something secret, to make it only found when need came, was imense and no one they knew had that much power, the closest they came was Magnus and even he could not create such a thing.

"It means the First is still alive." Catarina said.

"How do you know that the New York Institute has a Secret Room?" Magnus asked, "No Warlock has ever found one, only those in need and a trace of magic is left on their skin for us to track them."

Catarina nodded, "This is true, but, James mentioned a room that couldn't be found from outside of the Institute, with the Story of the Sealing of the Hell Realms."

"If James found it then why wasn't he taken?" Tessa asked.

"I don't know." Catarina said, "I've been trying to figure it out but I don't know."

Magnus was frowning.

"What is it, Magnus?" Ragnor asked.

Magnus shook his head a little, "Something Isabelle told me."

"What di she say?" Tessa asked.

"She mentioned that Alexander had already been patrolling with the teenaged Shadowhunters at ten years old..." Magnus looked at them, "None of the children we collected were Runed, were they?"

"No, the Warlock staying around as they grow up was always just a precaution." Catarina said.

"What if a Runed Shadowhunter doesn't Call a Warlock to collect them, what if it's only ones that are unRuned?" Magnus asked.

"That wouldn't explain why a Warlock wasn't called for James." Tessa said, "Shadowhunters aren't Runed until they are thirteen."

"Normally, but Shadowhunters aren't sent on patrols unless they are Runed, either." Magnus said, Jace had mentioned this to Clary when she finally decided she should learn about the culture she had been born into.

"Are saying that James was Runed at ten?" Ragnor asked, anger filling his body.

Children should be children and if James had recieved his Runes so young when had he been allowed to play?

"Am I interrupting something?" Alexander asked as he entered the room, wrapped up in one of Magnus' fluffy robes.

"You're back!" Magnus exclaimed and hugged his lover, pressing a kiss to his lips while Alexander turned red.

"Yeah, Isabelle, Jace and Max had to get to their weekly dinner with Maryse and Clary decided she and Simon were going and they had to swing by the Institute to get Lydia." Alexander shrugged, "I can... I can go somewhere else if you don't want me here?" 

"No, you can stay." Catarina said, "You may actually be able to clear some things up for us."

"Um.. okay." Alexander said and let Magnus tug him gently over to the armchair he'd been sitting in and pull him into Magnus' lap as the Warlock sat down.

Alexander blushed but settled into Magnus' lap and tucked his head against Magnus' shoulder with his legs hanging over the chair's arm, with Magnus lacing their fingers together.

"So, what can I help you with?"

"Can you tell us when you were Runed?" Catarina asked.

Alexander frowned, "Why does that matter?"

"Well, most Shadowhunters are Runed around puberty, we wondered if perhaps being Runed before or after might affect anything." Catarina said, it was not the truth but Magnus could also see her start to wonder if maybe she should research more into that line of questioning.

"Clary Fray was Runed after puberty." Alexander mused.

"I'll have to talk with her."

"Yeah, I was Runed young, I know Hodge fought with my parents about it, I don't really remember, I was really young." Alexander shrugged a little.

"How young?" Tessa asked.

Alexander frowned at her, likely wondering who she was.

"This is Tessa Gray, she's a friend of ours." Magnus told Alexander, who nodded.

"I think I was around six, maybe, I'm not really sure, I remember my mother being very disappointed that I'd cried when they started and not stopping when it was over." Alexander recalled quietly.

Without conscious thought Magnus started rubbing Alexander's back gently and Ragnor reached out to hold Alexander's ankle and Tessa and Catarina looked ready to cry.

"I found the room after my parents went to sleep and I stayed there that night and a lot of other nights until I left."

The Warlocks looked at each other.

"What?" Alexander asked.

"James... the Room you found, it's something every Warlock knows of, we know of it because it is part of or Culture, when someone enters this Room a call is sent out to the nearest Warlock to come and take the person away because their needs aren't being met." Tessa began.

"But no one came for me." Alexander said slowly.

"And we've been trying to figure out why." Catarina said, "The one that created the Rooms is the one we only know as the First, the First Warlock ever born."

"When we first began as a people..." Alexander started, "When we were first created, Shadowhunters were Runed as they came into being, usually when they were in their twenties, and then teens started coming into their knowledge and then they found mates and had children and we were born into this world..."

"It's possible that the First never thought Shadowhunters would feel the need to Rune children." Ragnor said softly, "Or that Nephilim would dare to do that to their children."

"So, that's why no Warlock came to take me from my parents?" Alexander asked, "I was already Runed so they couldn't take me, they thought it was necessary for me to stay?"

"I don't think we can ever know for sure." Catarina said.

"Not without harming someone else." Alexander offered, "And I wouldn't allow that."

Tessa smiled, "I can see how you endeared yourself to these three."

"Thanks. Although, maybe I did get a Warlock guardian." Alexander mused.

"What do you mean?" Magnus asked.

"Well, half the time Ragnor mentioned that he never understood why he was in whatever city I was in, he said..."

"It was like I was called here..." Ragnor said slowly.

"Yeah, maybe..." Alexander frowned.

"What is it?" Catarina asked.

"When I was leaving New York after Magnus stole my cat..."

Ragnor snorted, "Magnus what?"

"Shut up, I rescued Chairman Meow, I didn't know he was already owned." Magnus shushed Ragnor.

"There was this man when I was walking down the Interstate, he offered my a ride, and well, I had been up looking for the cat and I was tired and somehow I knew he wasn't a creep and going to hurt me so, I went with him." Alexander said, "I slept the whole way down to West Virginia." Alexander laughed, "I never even questioned sleeping through an entire State."

"And when you got to West Virginia?" Catarina asked.

"We went our separate ways, he was heading down to Florida and I wasn't really wanting to risk him finding out I was a runaway." Alexander shrugged, "He seemed really hesitent to leave me there alone but... but he gave me one of my knives and told me never to leave it behind and well, it's one of my favorite knives because of how easy it is to overlook it."

The Warlocks were staring at Alexander in shock and a small amount of awe.

"What?" Alexander asked, curiously.

"I think you may have met the First Warlock." Tessa whispered in awe.

Alexander rolled his eyes and tucked his face into Magnus' neck and ignored them for the rest of the night, Magnus was actually a little proud of Alexander for not retreating to their nest when he was done talking to them, proud that the man had remained in his lap. And he was thankful for his friends who recognized that Alexander no longer wanted to be a participant and let the man exit the conversation, only asking what he wanted to eat when they realized how late it was getting and letting the man eat without bothering him while keeping Magnus in their conversations, ignoring when Magnus stopped halfway through a sentence a few times to ask Alexander if he was doing alright and pretending that the breaks hadn't happened.

Eventually Alexander drifted off to sleep in Magnus' arms and a little after midnight Magnus said his goodbyes, woke Alexander to mumble his and took Alexander to their bed; it was Tuesday and Tuesdays were one of the three days that Magnus and Alexander had agreed on would be spent in the bed instead of under it. After Alexander was in their bed Magnus saw his guests out and then crawled into bed with Alexander, who immediately cuddled up to him and settled his head on the Warlock's chest before settling again into a deeper, calmer sleep.

Magnus smiled softly at his lover and pressed a small, light kiss to the top of his head and Alexander sighed and nuzzled into Magnus' chest and then Magnus closed his eyes and let sleep take him wondering how he'd been so lucky as to find this Shadowhunter, in all the Universe, somehow they had found each other and though Magnus knew it would not always be so easy as it was in this moment in time, and how he was dreading the eventual goodbyes that would find them, in this moment every thing was perfect and peaceful and wonderful. 

Alexander shifted and his hand found Magnus' and Alexander mumbled sleepily, "Love you."

"I love you, too, Darling." Magnus murmured just before sleep took him.

 

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I'm thinking this is going to be the last chapter for this story, I may write a small sequel but not really planning on it.

Thank you for joining me on this little epic journey and I hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
